Love and Memories
by Meganfitz
Summary: Ben has given Claire a rare chance to leave the island... but Charlie stays behind. Now there is a chance for The Others and the Losties to start over. But back on the mainland, Claire learns that Charlie may not be who she thinks he is.
1. Chapter 1

Author: Subwoofer26

Title: Love and Memories

Pairing: C/C

Category: Suspense, romance

Spoilers- Set in Season three. Lots of "Others" stuff. Many of my theories nothing confirmed.

Disclaimers: Lost and all its many characters are not mine… although I wish they were. I'd be driving a much better car.

Author's note: This story isn't like anything I've ever written, I am trying something new. Each chapter will be from a different characters POV. There will be plot hole in the beginning but everything will be tied up in the end. Most of the chapters will take place on the island while other chapters will take place off. The title of the story comes from an OAR song… "Love and Memories" Please read and review, it means the world to me. Reviews are my life blood. Thanks

Summary: Charlie and Claire stop a bloody battle and therefore they are rewarded. Ben lets Claire leave the island, he offers to let Charlie go, but Charlie refuses. But he insists that Claire move into his place in LA. When she gets there, she discovers that Charlie isn't who she thinks he is. And his forgotten past may be to the clue to getting everyone off the island.

Prologue: Visions and Futures

Charlie's POV

I lie on my back, the sun slowly soaking into my skin. My bones and muscles are sore from a long day of hard work building Eko's Church. I only knew him for a few weeks but still this was something he wanted to build and I feel like I should finish it for him. I owe him that much, don't I?

Aaron is nestled on my chest, sleeping and drooling. Lovely. Baby drool is one of the stickiest substances on the planet. Still he makes little sleepy noises like his mum and I smile despite my gooey shirt.

The image pops into my head. It started the night Claire kissed me, the night after the hatch exploded. The same image, the same feelings, same smells. I thought it was just a dream, one that lingers long after you wake. Every day the image becomes brighter, sharper, and vaster. Dear God does it feel real. Like if I reach out I could touch it.

Something blocks my light and I am shaken back into reality. "What are you grinning about?" Claire asks. I open my eyes to see her crossing her arms around her waist.

"Just daydreaming."

"About what?"

"You."

She smiles at me and points to my chest, "You've got drool on your shirt."

"Jealous?"

"You know it." She sits on the side of the bed, "Do you want me to take him from you?"

"No, he's fine." I pat his warm fleshy back. "I've got room for one more… you wanna go get Hurley for me?" I smirk. She rolls her eyes and crawls into bed with me. My right arm goes around her waist as she places her head on my shoulder and drapes her leg over me. The three of us breathe in unison, a perfect unit. Her breath dances over my neck.

God this feels perfect. I nearly intoxicated by euphoria how everything just fell together. Jack Kate and Sawyer have been gone for nearly a month. With Locke hunting Mr. Eye Patch, there just aren't as much distractions as there had been. More time for Claire and I to rebuild our relationship. It took a week for me to move back home. I still kept my tent; it's always good to have a backup plan. But for the most part Desmond lives in it; I just keep my guitar there. A week after that, Claire and I made love for the first time. It wasn't perfect; not confessions of deep passion love or life or death situation, it just sort of happened. The next morning over breakfast I told her I love her. She smiled and told me she knew. She had known for a very long time. She knew, Locke, Hurley, Sayid, The Crazy French Lady and even the Others knew it. She said I was terrible at keeping a secret. She laughed and said that was what she loved most about me.

"So tell me about it?" She whispers.

"Tell you what?"

"What you were daydreaming about."

She catches me when my guard is down and I start to describe the vision to her. I neglect to tell her I've seen it before. "You're standing on a dock, the wind is blowing your air out of your face. It makes your dress billow and flap."

"I'm wearing a dress." She delights.

"Its light blue with tiny straps, its forms perfectly to your stunning breasts."

"Why thank you."

"No thank you." I smile at her and kiss her nose. "Your smile I can see from far away and everything else fades away as I run towards you. Aaron's gleeful laughter is the only noise I hear, aside from my feet on the wooden dock. I wrap your into my arms and kiss Aaron because he's gotten so big. I kiss you like your ice water and I've been lost in the desert in lost in the desert for forty years."

"Why?"

"hmm?"

"Why? Have we been apart for a while?" She questions lazily.

"It feels like a lifetime. We pass Aaron off to Hurley. Because you and I have business to attend to."

"Really, naughty business?" She coos.

"Very naughty business. After all I know what you are wearing underneath." I wiggle my eyebrows and speak in a husky voice.

"Really? What is it?" She's very interested as she strokes my chest lightly and moves her hips against me.

"It's all my favorite things, white thigh highs, very lacy panties and a equally lacy bustier. You look like a vision of pure beauty."

" A bustier? They are impossible to get on. So many latches." She frowns and pouts.

"Yeah but its twice as fun to take off." I whisper in her ear. She giggles.

"So is there a reason for the dress and naughty knickers?"

"We're celebrating."

"Our reunion? You know you've got quite an imagination in there."

Her hair tickles my neck and Aaron nestles deeper into my chest. Her fingers trace my chest and my eyes flutter close. "Our engagement." I whisper lost complete in her touch and in the moment.

There's a sharp intake of air and a gasp. "What?"

Oh Bullocks, did I just say that aloud?

"Huh?" Ok I have to play it cool. Like I didn't just say that.

"You said in this little day dream we were engaged."

"Um," Great "um" is the best I can do? No wonder why she's pissed, a complete retard is in love with her. Bloody hell. "Why would that be so bad?" Christ Charlie SHUT UP! Just kiss her, distract her with the baby. Act like the monster is coming. Just stop talking!

"Its not that is would be bad, it just, so soon. You know. I don't think we should be talking about this." Her voice becomes quiet.

My stomach starts to twist but my mouth doesn't seem to want to stop. "Why shouldn't we talk about this?" Great there goes my mouth speaking without talking to my brain first.

"Well I guess its just silly." Her muscles tense under my touch.

"Silly? What's silly about it?"

She laughs, "You know I'm not interested in anyone else, you don't have to worry about me running off with Desmond or something. Besides, Charlie you're already shagging me, you don't need to make an honest woman out of me."

See, I know she's joking. I know she dig herself into a hole and she's trying to get out of it. Logically I completely understand, but she's just ruined my good mood and she strikes a deep nerve with me. "Oh, really is that what you think, that I'm just in it for the sex. To lay my claim to you, mark my territory on you and I'll be off. Bloody Hell Claire." I move my shoulder and push her off of me. It stirs Aaron from his sleep. His eyes adjust to the light; he blinks a few times. Babies are extremely sensitive to mood, and feeling the tension and angry in the air, Aaron starts to cry. I roll him off of me and flop him on his mother's chest. I sit up and glare out to the ocean my back to and the crying child. "Dammit Claire, I'm not that guy anymore. Or at the very least, I am trying with all my heart not to be him. " I stand up and leave the shelter. She calls after me. I hear her curse. We're both too stubborn to speak to each other for now.

I spend the rest of the evening milling around, talking to Hurley and Locke. Desmond pats me on the shoulder and assures me everything is going to be ok. Hurley pulls me aside and asks, "So Desmond gets see into the future for like a good 24 hours, Locke gets talk to the island. Eko got dead. What did you get? I mean you were in the hatch when it blew up too, weren't you?"

"I guess I got Claire." I shrug.

The sun sets and tiny fires provide the light for us. The beach looks like the sky, small sparks of light surrounded by darkness. I'm sure there's song lyric in there somewhere. I stare at the base of the fire, where the light isn't as bright and blinding, but soft, red and blue. The image flashes into my mind again. Expanding. The lenses are wider, not only can I see more details but I see other people, standing behind and near Claire. In the past whenever I saw the vision I focused solely on Claire and Aaron. But now I see a woman next to Claire, shinning bright and familiar. She's someone I know from a lifetime ago. Someone I shared secrets with or at least she knows my secrets. Her copper blonde hair catches the light; she's smiling at me and whoever is just behind me. I try to concentrate on her. I know her.

Bloody Hell.

It's Penny.

What is she doing there?

"Charlie?" Claire's voice startles me. She sits down next to me; leaving space between us, but sitting close enough I can feel the heat from her body.

"Hmm?"

"Come to bed." She whispers. Being humble is a new thing for her, I'm sure it doesn't 't feel too good.

"I would rather not. I think I'm just going to stay out here tonight." I stare into the fire.

She nudges me with her shoulder, "Come on Charlie, you're freeze to death out here."

"I think your underestimating the climate I grew up in. I'm used to cold weather, you, on the other hand, are not and you want me to come to bed to keep your warm." I smirk slightly since I saw through her little scheme.

"Maybe that's true and maybe its because I don't like going to bed with you mad at me." She inches closer to me.

I sigh deeply, the last remnants of the image wisps away from my mind as I think about my issue with Claire. "I know you've been hurt plenty of times and I know you might think I'm not the most responsible of people. But I like whom I am when I'm near you. I like whom you've made me. And what's wrong with wanting to be with be with you for the rest of my life."

She rests her head on my shoulder, "I'm sorry, it was a terrible thing for me to say. I know you're not the "bloody rock god" any more." She smiles and I feel it through my shirt.

"No, I'm not." I rest my head on hers and together we watch the fire dance and the embers disappear into the darkness. I swallow for a second, as I ask the question that has been bothering me for a while now. "Why is it silly as you said earlier? Why is it foolish to talk about the future with you?'

She shrugged, "I guess because this horrible island is filled with so many mysteries, too many unknowns and dangers. Why get invested in something that may not last?"

"Because the island IS filled with unknown dangers that isn't important to have something or someone you can depend on?" My fingers search out hers, to twist and entwine.

She sits in quite contemplation thinking about my words. For a few minutes we continue to watch the fire. She whispers, "Come to bed."

"Ok but if you think you're getting laid, Missy, you are mistaken." I pretend to be serious. But as soon as she starts kissing my neck, I know as well as she does, she's getting some tonight.

In the morning, the sun is my alarm clock. My hand is resting quite comfortably on Claire's back. I try to get up, but she's being extra snuggly this morning. Each time I try to sneak away, she places more of her body on me until I have a Claire blanket. It s morning like this, that makes me grateful for Oceanic Air's crappy service.

As the day gets brighter I head towards the church. We're making good progress on it. Sayid's been helping out, although I don't know what the spiritual ramification will be to have someone who doesn't believe in the same god building His house. We've got maybe about a month left of work to do. Now that the frame is up and half of the roof, it seems to be moving faster.

It's about noon when I hear Claire call my name. I walked out of the shelter and greet her. She's shifting her weight for leg-to-leg, biting her lower lip and twisting her fingers together. Her eyes busy counting the grains of sand at her feet. "Charlie."

"Yes Luv?" Now I'm getting worried. She's never looked like this before. Is she breaking up with me?

She looks flustered and blushes slightly, "You know that thing we talked about yesterday?"

"Yeah?"

Her eyes meet mine and dance. "If you asked nicely, I will probably say yes."

My heart stops, my brain stops, my stomach drops to my feet and back up to my mouth. But most notably my face hurts from grinning.

"Really?"

She tries to suppress her smile by biting her lips hard as she nods.

My knees hit the sand much harder then I'm expecting, "Well, Claire if you aren't busy for the rest of your life, you wanna spend it with me?"

She rolls her eyes, "That's the best you can do?"

"You caught me off guard!" I attempt to rationalize. She huffs and I try again, "Claire Littleton, you make my life better when you're in it. I'm happier and stronger when you're near. I've cheated death to be by your side. You and your many different smiles are the best part of my day. I love you more then I ever thought possible and I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to keep you and Aaron smiling, happy and safe. Will you marry me?"

She squeals and jumps into my arms. Vaguely I hear cheers and clapping in the distance but all of that is ignored, as I am overwhelmed by personal bliss. After we finish snogging a lighting bolt hits me, "I don't have a ring for you."

She smiles and laughs, "That's ok."

"No, not its not. I could go into Sawyer stash and go see if he stole any rings off of the bodies…"

She shakes her head and violently, "yuck, no thank you."

Then I remember, yank off my Drive shaft ring, "here you can have this." It's far too big on her finger but she just giggles. "We'll get you a string or something to put it around your neck for now." She spins it around her finger, staring at it and then at me.

"Thank you Charlie, I love it and you too."

So I think I'm done with the church for today. The rest of the sunlight is spent with congratulations, questions, comments and well wishes. Claire's glowing like the day she had Aaron.

After dinner I wrap my arms around Claire and kiss her shoulder as she talks to Sayid and Desmond about what seems to be the topic of the day: love.

Sayid admits that Shannon was not the love of his life. His heart would always belong to another. Claire asks, "The woman in the picture." Sayid says nothing but nods.

I am far to busy with the tender details of Claire's neck to focus on what Desmond is saying, at first, when Claire asks him about his life. Very little is still known about Desmond, aside that he's Scottish, ended up naked after the hatch exploded and was in the army. "I had the misfortune of loving a woman who was in a much higher class then I. Nothing I did was good enough for her father. I broke down and join the Army in order to prove myself. Then I tried to sail around the world to prove myself again."

"How very Odysseus of you." I comment, and yet something gnaws at me. Something like I've been here before, heard this story once before.

"Yeah well look where my pride got me." He motions with his hand as I look up my lover's neck. My mouth goes back to its task as I pull Claire body closer to me. Desmond nods at us, "You two are the lucky ones, because all you need in the world is someone who loves you."

"That, money and patience's and you can do anything." I whisper as I echo a conversation from my past. Desmond looks up at me like he's heard the comment before.

"What was her name?" Claire asks in a dreamy state.

"Penelope Wedmore." Desmond answers.

Oh bloody hell. BLOODY FREAKING HELL. Are you kidding? The guy who's been living on the beach with us, is Penny's Den? The guy she's been spending a small fortune trying to track down. Oh my god, someone is looking for us. Someone with a brain is trying to find us. A new swell of hope rises inside me.

So I throw Desmond a little bone. "He's dead you know."

"Who is?" Sayid asked.

"Wedmore, he passed away about two years ago. It made all the papers back in London." I watch as Desmond's face lights up briefly and then falls back down.

"A lot of good that does me now, huh Brother?"

I shrug, "I just won't lose hope is all."

"Well I guess everything looks good when you're in love." Desmond mocks.

I don't say anything to Desmond about knowing the love of his life, because mine is looking at me with sleepy and seductive doe eyes. "Charlie let's go to bed."

Paulo walks by and makes the cracking sound and a hand gesture, "Wow you're wiped all ready, Bass Boy." Ok there is no justice on this island, Eko gets eaten by the monster by THIS guy gets to live.

"I'm getting laid tonight, and you're only company is your right hand, so laugh all you want." I flash him my devil smile and help Claire on her feet. Normally she might disapprove of that little announcement, but she's too enamored by her ring and the engagement to really care.

The image comes back, in full and perfect detail. This time I even get to see the date on my watch. That provides me with no comfort. For the first time since the vision popped into my head, I completely understand what I'm seeing. It terrifies me.

Claire rolls over and places her head on my chest, sleepy-eyed and adorable. "Morning."

"Yes it is." I smile down at her. Aaron starts to stir in his cradle; he has the same alarm clock as his mother. "I think your son is hungry." I kiss her forehead.

She rolled over and lifts him out of his bed. "Our son," she says once he's with us. Inside I glow and all terror of the vision has vanished. Sure I've always considered Aaron as mine, but it's nice to think that Claire thinks the same thing. She puts the child to her breast to let him feed. I used to look away, like I was intruding on a private moment between mother and son, but now I just watch the tenderness. She smiles down at him and looks back up at me, "Do you think it will be ok? I mean, will it be strange for him to be raise by someone who isn't his father?"

I shrug, "It didn't hurt me any." Bloody Hell, why did I say that? Liam doesn't even know. How does she do that to me, making me spill all my naughty little secrets like that?

"What?" She furrows her brow in confused concern.

I scratch my head and try to keep cool, "Um yeah, my dad isn't my father. It isn't a big deal, I only found out a few years ago. Just before Mum died she told me. It makes a lot of sense, why Da didn't like me very much, why I was smarter then everyone else, why Liam and I don't look alike."

"Your Da didn't like you?"

"He loved me, he just didn't like me. I guess every time he saw me he saw my mum affair. Look it isn't a big deal, don't worry about it."

"Well, do you even know your father?"

"Nope he died." His brakes were cut a few months after I was born, Mum didn't tell me that, I had to do some research. "My grandfather passed away too."

"Charlie that's horrible."

I grin, "Not really, it left me the heir to a billion dollar company."

She rolls her eyes at me, "be serious."

I sigh, "How 'bout this, you and Aaron are the only family I have and I will do anything for you two." She beams and kisses me lightly. I repeat, "anything," for emphasis.

For a day or so everything is perfect. No sudden rain clouds. No attacks from "the Others", nothing. Then John announces to everyone it's time to get the family back. Its time to save Jack, Kate and Sawyer. Honestly I grumble a little about saving Sawyer. John wants to start his little war and from that time of the announcement, I get a near blinding headache.

The vision of Claire standing on the dock smiling at me isn't the first one I had. The first one came the moment the hatch imploded. The vision bombarded my brained and felt like it was crushing my lungs. It was so horrible I blocked it out the moment I returned to the beach and say Claire smiling at me.

But now that vision is back the vengeance.

I feel nauseous as I look at Claire getting ready for the day, at what she's wearing and how she did her hair.

It's going to happen today. She will be sobbing, the Others will be watching, my soul will be torn in a million pieces as I see her get on that tiny boat and leave this island forever.

I have a choice; I can do everything in my power to keep the vision from happening. To keep her here with me forever. Mine.

Or I can let fate and the visions take its course, knowing full well, I will never see Claire Littleton again.


	2. Chapter 2: Painful Parting

Love and Memories

Chapter 2: A Painful Parting

Author's Note: Ok I know there is a HUGE plot whole… you will be thinking, wait… how did Claire get to the beach? Where are the Others? What happened during this 'war'? And all I have to tell you is, I don't know, because it doesn't matter. The important things in the chapter (the main event), the why's and the how's aren't so important. Sorry. I know its lame and a writer's cop out but hey, its the best I can do. I really

Ben's Point of View:

* * *

It happened to fast. In a matter of seconds all my planning had been tossed aside and forgotten. Guns drawn, lives held on the tender line as fragile as dental floss. One wrong move and blood would have soaked into the ground. But both sides had already made many wrong moves.

I am going to bury the people I love and care for; there is no question in my mind.

I knew _they_ would attack; after all they're filthy murdering savages. I foolishly understatement the scale of their attack, their ferocity and malice.

I trusted Jack and he betrayed me.

He betrayed himself.

Now I am staring down the barrels of ten guns.

One flicker of a finger and it's all over.

Then her voice shatters the silence. She screams at us, and wakes the sleeping infant in her arms. "Are you bloody daft?"

My eyes shift to her, Claire. I haven't seen her, this close, since she had the baby. Her eyes blaze with rage.

"Well answer me!" Her voice cracks with venom. Ita a funny thing, being yell at by a mother. I feel like my mom was screaming at me, demanding an answer. Eyes shift from side to side. My allies and my enemies, all have the same reaction.

"Um whom are you talking to?" Hurley asks. If the situation weren't this intense I would probably laugh.

Claire stomps her foot on the ground causing her child to cry, "All of you." Her eye bore deep into my skull.

Charlie rushes out of the crowd and to her side, he starts to berate her about leaving the camp, walking through the jungle and worst yet with Aaron. I'm assuming that's the kid's name. His reaction is out of fear and panic, not out of anger. His arms wrap around her and the wailing child, in feeble attempts to sooth both. A silent exchange, tender and loving amongst the rage. Other men might not want to show that level of affection in front of enemies or other people, because it might be considered a sign of weakness. But not Charlie. No. He kisses her forehead in hopes he could extinguish the fire burning in Claire's eyes.

It doesn't work.

Claire becomes a force of nature and storms over to Jack and I. She snaps at us, "We get it, you have a penis and stop all this foolishness and let us get back to our lives." Did Claire just use the word "penis" in a sentence? Oh crap am I blushing? I think Jack is.

Jack becomes flustered, "This has nothing to do with who the bigger man, Claire, it runs much deeper then that."

"Oh Bollocks Jack! You're willing to risk everyone's life in order to prove your right. Well you're not."

"Claire, they kidnapped you, they killed Charlie… YOU of all people want us to walk away from this?" Wait? What? We killed Charlie? Isn't he the guy who's standing three feet away from me? What the hell are they talking about?

The storm tossed oceans blue of her eyes crash into my soul as she studies me, considers my family and me. Her voice is a clear as a churchbells, "Yes, I expect you to drop it. If it means we all walk away safe and alive. Yes."

"But they…" Jack tries to argue, over Aaron's screams.

Claire silences with gesture from her hand, "I'm tired of burying people, Jack. Boone, Shannon, Libby, Anna Lucia and Mr. Eko. There's just been too much death."

"But they kidnapped us…" Jack tried to rationalize, he tried to use logic on Claire. We both know its not going to work.

"Yes and you seem relatively unharmed by the situation, you've got all your limbs and fingers. It's not like they hung YOU from a tree." Charlie scoffs as he rubs Claire's arms. He's taking the side of his woman, interesting. Two minutes ago, I was certain he was going to be the one who killed. But now that she showed up all his rage his gone and he's solely focused on tending to her, calming her, appeasing her and drying the sobbing child's eyes.

Wait what the hell did he say about getting hung by a tree? I glance over to Tom who seems equally confused by the statement.

She addresses anyone who will listen, "They took me, kidnapped me, drugged me and I have no idea what they did to me or Aaron." She touches her child's head. "They killed Charlie." She peers over her shoulder and for a moment is lost in a secret terror between to lovers. The way she's staring at Charlie, she honestly believes he was hurt, she almost lost him forever. It so tender and loving, I feel voyeuristic looking watching the interaction inches from my face. Charlie nods at her, confirming to her that he's still very much alive and everything is going to be all right. "If we can forgive the Others then so can you, Jack."

Sawyer huffs, "They beat the hell out of me on a regular basis!" Sawyer snapped it.

"Have you met you? You probably deserved it." Charlie rolls his eyes and shakes his head and his fingers run down Aaron's chubby little arms. He's always so deadpan in his delivery; I think if we had met under different circumstances we might have been friends.

Claire doesn't so much plead with Jack as much as she demands, "Let's go home. The cat's out of the bag, we know they're here; they know we're here. Maybe some other time, when the wounds aren't so fresh, we can try to create a new relationship. Tomorrow's a new day."

"Bloody hell, maybe they'll come over for tea. You'd have to bring the tea though." Charlie thought it over and looks at me, "Do you have any tea? Because that would be bloody marvelous."

Behind me Juliet lets out a large amount of air out of her lungs, much like a quiet laugh. Charlie's comment starts to defuse the situation. Even Sayid breaks his ever constant glare and smirks a little as he lowers his gun. Laughter, even if it is internal, creates a magnetic force between the guns and the ground as all of them start to lower.

"Do you really think they're going to let us leave, Claire?" Jack snaps harshly at her.

She glares at him and sighs. She turns to me. Her eyes, bluer then the ocean that crashes against the beach, her skin whiter then the sand. While I know she's anything but pure, at this moment she appears to angelic and divine. She speaks softly, so only I can hear and steps into point blank range of my gun. Unfazed by the dangers she's in. She states as if speaking the words aloud makes it real. "I don't know a lot of things, but I know some facts. I don't know what you did to me those months back, but I do know, Aaron appears healthy and you haven't come back for us. I know for a fact you aren't going to kill me. You aren't going to kill me because I'm a mother of a new born. If you kill me, you would be killing baby as well." She pauses for a second and hands Aaron over to Charlie. Her bulletproof vest now handed off to a drug addict. Not really the best choice for a father but I guess the pickings are slim. Her eyes never waver once they meet mine. She places her hand on my arm, carefully. "You're creepy and weird but you are not evil."

Maybe it's the soft contact of her hand on my skin or maybe it's the way the wind is blowing though her hair, either way she's innocence personified. I've read her file many times, I know she's been kicked around by fate and men. And yet here she is ready to forgive us. She's a good person.

She's _too_ good.

A terrifying thought crashes into my brain.

She won't survive here.

There's only one option. One way to prove to everyone I'm not evil as she so sweetly suggested. I know how much Aaron will mean to our research but still, neither he nor his mother is worth the risk of losing both of them to the island.

For the first time during this encounter I speak, "Claire." She appears startled I know her name. "If there was a way for you and Aaron to leave the island, would you?"

Confusion furrows her brow. She opens her mouth but no sound comes out. No, the answer comes from the man holding her child. "She'll take it." Charlie states with certainty and authority.

"Charlie it isn't your decision." I remind him.

I watch as everything else disappears from Charlie's vision. He readjusts Aaron in his right arm and with his left arm he wraps it around Claire's waist. He studies her confusion, but his stare is steady. "Claire if there is a chance for you're to get off this hellhole you needs to take it."

She shakes her head and tries to twist out of his grip. "Charlie what are you saying?"

I add, "There's a boat." I can't hide my bitterness, "it was supposed to be for Jack, but he didn't follow the rules."

Jack's eyes grew wide and he's instantly disheartened, "There really _was_ a boat?"

My ever-growing annoyance with Jack is put on hold as I tell the young mother. "There is only a very small window in which the boat can leave, if you leave now, you can make it. There will be an ocean liner ready to pick you up. From the ocean liner there is a flight waiting for you in Fiji to take you to LA."

Charlie starts to plead with her, "I live in LA. I'll give you everything, Claire. My flat, my money, my music. Just get on the boat. Please."

Her bottom lip starts to quiver and water slides down her cheek. "Charlie?"

"All I want is for you to be safe. If that means leaving me here then so be it." His voice shakes. "You have to think about what's best for Aaron." It's a dirty and cheep card for him to play but still its effective. He kisses her lightly on the lips and as they part Charlie whispers, "I love you, Claire, please do this for me."

She starts to cry, the effects are slowly playing out on her face. Her cheeks start to redden as her breathing becomes forced. She closes her eyes and considers her options. Charlie whispers her name one last time. When Claire opens her eyes she looks in my direction and nods.

I feel like someone is slowly twisting my organs as I say, "Say goodbye to your friends."

She turns back to the people she's called her friends and family for the past three months. She heaves a sob as she coughs out, "bye." She waves Aaron's tiny hand to the group. This is the first time I look out to the group of survivors, all sharing in the lovers' good byes. I guess Charlie and Claire represented more then just a cute couple to them. They represented hope, life and love. Eyes are cast downward, lips are bit, arms wrap around bodies.

I grab Claire's arm and start to drag her away… I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I pull her down towards the dock, not looking at her or her friends. Juliet's face is hard to read at this moment, I'm not sure if she's pleased, proud or pissed. I only stop when Hurley calls out, "Dude, let Charlie say goodbye." Charlie's eyes are inverted to the ground, emotional and scared. Hurley steps forward for his friend who seems unable to speak. "They got engaged a few days ago."

This is when Tom walks over to Charlie and starts to lead him to Claire. Charlie whispers "thank you" although I'm not sure whom he is speaking to. In the matter of seconds he's by Claire's side, his fingers entwined with hers as they walk to her fate. Aaron has stopped crying for now, but his mother is still sniffling. I lead them down to the boat dock. Tom, Danny and Juliet flank them. My friends say nothing as the lovers speak.

Charlie tells her about the tiny details, "I have a hid-a-key under the fire extinguisher in the hallway of the apartment building. If it's gone, knock on my neighbors door across the hall, her name is Carla, she has a spare key." He thinks for a moment has he leads her away from a divot in the road, constantly worried about her safety. "Listen, You'll be in Old Charlie's flat, Old Charlie was a womanizer and a drug addict. There's some heroin stashed behind the toilet seat and a few grand in cash in the freezer. Get rid of the drugs, but use the cash." He stops walking for a second to hold her, I'm tempted to yell at him and to tell him to keep it moving, but I don't. "Claire, I'm not that guy anymore. You know that right? Old Charlie died the day I met you. Do you understand?" She nods as her tears fall down her face.

He keeps talking as we trek towards the dock. "All my bills are paid on line, so all my accounts should be open. My rent's paid through till next August so you won't have to worry about that. Oh, all my on-line passwords are written down on a piece of paper taped under a teacup next to my laptop. I've got some money put aside in my checking and savings account. Not as much as I used to, but still enough to last you and Aaron for a little while, like a couple of years or so. " His voice hesitates for a second as the boat comes into his line of vision.

I half expect him to say something deep and meaningful but instead he spews, "Oh my god!" His jaw drops, "You know about porn don't you?"

She shakes her head confused, "The general topic or something specific?" She manages to crack out.

"Ok, for a long time I was a single man and I um, have quite the collection of "adult entertainment"" He uses air quotes for that last phrase. "I don't know if you know this but guys will find freaky messed up stuff and send it to each other. It's a real thing, honest." Charlie looks around to the other men around him for support.

Tom nods, "It's a thing, we all do it."

Charlie points to his cohort "See."

Through her tears and growing annoyance with Charlie's random comments, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I won't be there to explain to you I'm not into that bestiality," Charlie attempts to smile as Claire rolls her eyes at him.

The sounds our feet make changes as we leave the dirt path and walk onto the dock. Charlie becomes serious again. "I need you to live your life, to be happy and safe." They stop just before the boat and he wraps his arms around her and Aaron, pulling them close to him.

She rests her head on his shoulder, "I love you too, Charlie. I owe you everything." She whispers.

"You owe me nothing. You made me a better man, Claire Littleton. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but if there is a way for you and Aaron to leave here, then you need to get on this boat ok? Knowing you're in civilization, knowing Aaron is getting a proper education will make me just as happy as if we are together."

Ok, now I'm starting to feel like a monster.

It's Juliet who says, "You could go with her."

"There will be plenty of room on the boat and the plane." Tom adds. My crew mutinies for the sake of the young family. I don't think I've ever been more proud of them.

Claire's eyes shine with hope. Charlie kisses her on the lips. When they break away, he stares deep into her eyes, "I love you, but I can't go."

Her heart shatters in a million pieces in front of me, "Charlie?"

His voice is filled with the same determination and certainty as her was a few minutes earlier, "I'm not leaving my friends." He leads her on to the boat. He holds Aaron, kisses him and says; "Now you look after your mum while I'm away. I'm counting on you Turnip Head." He hands his son back to Claire. The boat's engine fires up, as Luke stands behind the wheel. One final kiss and he calls over the noise, "Everything I've ever told you was true, Claire. Everything."

The boat pulls away from the dock. Claire and Aaron disappear into the horizon. I turn away from Charlie and head home. Tom and Dan will take him back to his friends.

It's a long walk back. All I have is my thoughts to keep me company. The parting image of two lovers is etched into my brain. By the time I open the door to my house I'm exhausted. I go to flop down on the couch when I see my spot has been already occupied by Infinity. I pick up my daughter's rabbit and place him on my lap, petting him absent mindedly, my fingers tracing the number 8 on his back.

Why did Charlie stay behind?

It won't take long for the news to hit. Not long at all.

Crap, what have I done?

The front door opens and Tom sits in the armchair across from me. "Well I didn't see any of that coming." He sighed and puts his hands behind his head.

"Just once I would like to have an encounter with these people where I don't feel like the biggest asshole in the world." I groan. I rub my eyes with the palm of my hands.

"Ben, you did everything right. You gave Charlie what he wanted, there's no way this could possibly backfire on you. "

Of course this is going to backfire. The front door slams. "Is it true?" Alex screeches at the top of her lungs. How can a girl who's so small make so much noise? I rub my head hoping to stop the headache that is going to come. "Did you really send Claire and Aaron away?"

"You left Infinity's cage open again, he was sitting on the couch when I got home." Hopefully this will distract her.

"Did you or did you not send Claire away?" She stomps her foot on the ground, her curly brown hair flies everywhere.

"It was for the best." Logic.

"But I didn't get a chance to see her! I wanted to meet the baby!" She starts to whine. "Why do you ruin everything? Claire loved Charlie, that's all she used to talk about when she was with us. What's Charlie going to do now that she's gone? Did you even think about that?" She so angry her voice starts to crack and her eyes start to well up. "Why are you so mean? You're worse then Hitler!" Ok there's no way I'm THAT bad.

"Hey, now!" Tom snaps in my defense.

"Do you want to eat some puppies because that's what evil people do?" She storms in her bedroom.

"DON"T SLAM THE DOOR!" I yell.

SLAM. The door shakes the walls. I rub my temples, "are all teenage girls like this?"

"I'm sure my sister used to be like that."

"Did she out grow it?"

Tom shrugs, "I don't know, I think my parents buried her in the back yard." I smiled despite my horrible mood.

"Hey what do you think about Charlie's statement about us killing him? What was all that about?"

"I don't know… but Ethan had been acting…" Tom stops talking and looked out the window.

"What kind of man stays behind? I gave him an option to leave? To start a new life. Why did he stay behind?"

"Maybe he loved her that much."

"Do you think he is really a good man?" I ask uncertain.

"I don't know."

"Get me his files. And keep your eye on Claire." I assert the last of my power, after this little display, I don't know how much longer I am going to be in charge around here. Somehow I get a distant feeling that Charlie Pace will be my downfall.


	3. Chapter 3: I love LA

Author's note: I wanted Claire's thoughts to be very scattered and all over the place that's why this chapter is written like this. (No it has nothing to do with bad writing on my part- ok maybe. This chapter has information from the Lost Experience in it, but not a whole lot.

**Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.**

Love and Memories:

Chapter three: I love LA

Claire's POV

* * *

It all happened so fast. One moment I was on the island, cursing Charlie's stupidity to join in a battle just after we got engaged and the next moment I'm on boat and Charlie is shrinking in the distance. I don't understand, the Other's offered me a chance to leave, but it was Charlie who insisted I go. Two boat rides, a 20-hour flight on a private jet, and a drive through dizzying LA traffic and poof, I'm standing in Charlie's hallway. Its funny, I was on the island for only a few months, but I've forgotten some of the little things, like how heavy doors can be and how loud cities are.

I hold Aaron in one arm as I search for Charlie's hide-a-key somewhere in the hallway. He said it would be near the fire extinguisher. I poke around, feeling my way around the metal case. Aha! I find the plastic hide a key case. Isn't it dangerous to leave these around, even more so in a city?

Oh right, he was a drug addict, he probably had other things on his mind other then where he put his key.

Remember that was Old Charlie, and Old Charlie died the day he meet me. I hold my breath just before I enter his flat. So let's see what kind of person Old Charlie was. His apartment is small, but clean and a lot nicer then I expected. White walls but great paintings and posters proves all the color needed. A big red couch sits across from the telly, wow a nice telly at that. Behind the couch next to the wall is his desk; complete with his laptop he spoke of.

I head into the kitchen, Aaron resting on my hips. His eyes are wide as he takes everything in. I coo to him, "I know everything's all different, but this is where your daddy lived before he met us." I open all the cabinets, bloody hell, Charlie has like no plates. When I open the cabinet with Easy Mac, it hits me exactly how hungry I am. I might need to take a respite from exploring my new surrounds to eat.

After I make my dinner, I set Aaron on the floor. It looks clean enough, I guess. The blinking light on Charlie's answering machine catches my attention. I hit play and listen while I eat.

"Hey Charlie, its Mark, dude where are you? Did you get Liam? I need to know the record company is like breathing down my neck. Dude, call me." Poor, Mark sorry but Charlie's a little busy, I'm sure the label is going to be disappointed.

Beep.

"Charlie Bear, It's Lisa. I'm hot and bothered and need some attention. Come over and bring the good stuff. I've got a wild night planned." I frown, well that's one booty call he missed.

Beep.

"Bloody Hell Charlie, I know you just left my house, but you didn't give me your new cell phone number. I know you're not going to get this until your back in LA, but please, just call me. We need to talk. I'm sure you think I'm a prat and that I'm a crappy brother. Just call me." Well maybe Liam isn't a much as a jerk as I thought he was.

Beep.

"Mr. Pace, this is the law offices Hinerman and Fullwood, we are representing an issue that may be of grave importance to you. We are sending a representative to Sydney to track you down. If for some reason he did not reach you, please call us back as soon as possible. Thank you." Weird.

Beep

"Hey Chazzy, you need a hit, you've been gone out of the loop for a while. Let me know." Lovely, at least his drug dealer has good costumer service.

Beep

"Charlie, please call me back. Look there was a plane crash and I need to know you weren't on it. Call me." Aw hell, Liam. Should I call him? Let him know his brother is safe, just stuck on some horrible island somewhere.

What about me? Should I call my mum, let her know I'm safe and sound. Tell her she's a grandma? Will she be happy? Will it give her a sense of piece of mind?

You know what, I've got too much to do to worry about my own family issues. I need to make a list. Prioritize everything,

1) Aaron—he needs bottles, a crib, a stroller, diapers, food, a doctor visit, and clothes.

2) Me – I need clothes

3) Charlie- I need to get him off the island.

4) Money- I need to get money.

Four hours of working and adjusting to my life, I discover the following things:

1) All of Charlie's passwords were easy enough to find.

2) Charlie has nearly $100,000 of useable credit.

3) has overnight delivery

4) It is every easy to use and had everything a young mother could possibly need.

5) Charlie's bank account is a wee bit heavier then I thought. Somewhere around $50,000 in his checking account and nearly triple that in his savings. He's been getting despots through the bank because of a song he wrote that made its way into a nationally broadcasted commercial for a television show. So for the time being, money will not be a problem.

6) I miss Charlie so much it hurts to breathe.

Damn how did this happen? He was just supposed to be some goofy guy who talked to me on the island and suddenly I feel like I can't live without him.

Exhaustion hits me. I feed Aaron and change his nappy and take him into bed with me. I know you're not supposed to let a baby sleep in the bed, because there is a potential to roll over and kill the baby in your sleep. Well wouldn't that be ironic, Aaron survives a plane crash, two kidnapping attempts, and the Others, only to be crushed by his mother.

It's only one night.

I crawl into bed and the first thing that hits me, is how soft and luxurious it is. Sure I've been sleeping on a lumpy mat or the ground for the past few months so everything feels softer to me. Still these are the nicest sheets I've ever felt. And the bed is huge, plenty of room for both Aaron and I. Wow together we only take up like a quarter of the bed, I guess Charlie needed a lot of room. Great now I'm picturing him with other women. Jealous and rage course though my veins.

Charlie is still on the island but he gave me everything he owned. Including the bed he shared with countless other women. I pull my knees to my chest and start to sob, questioning all that I believed in.

Am I just a fool for loving the worst possible man on the planet?

Should I still be on that island?

Should I just give up and start over fresh? Forget about the past three months, go find Thomas and give it a go?

How could a man like Charlie ever really love a woman like me?

Should I believe a word he said to me?

But the one question that plagues me is, why did he stay behind?

Was I so unworthy of staring a life with?

Was spending the rest if his life with me so unbearable he would rather stay on that horrible island than come back to the mainland with me?

I weep myself to sleep.

When I wake up, with that very strange where-am-I feeling? My brain needs to jumpstart and flash through the memories of the last few days. Suddenly I feel just as bad as I did last night. I check to make sure I didn't squish Aaron in the middle of the night. Good, he's still breathing and sleeping. But now there is a funky rank smell. Oh god! It's me. Yuck.

I feel like the worst mother in the world as I let him sleep on the bed as I take a shower, but I have very few options. I search through Charlie's linen closet and find an alarming lack of towels. What sort of person only has two towels? Even when I was broke I still had tons of them.

My first shower in over three months is a glorious and perfect experience. Hot water, soap, shampoo, I squeal with delight when I see Charlie has conditioner too. (Most of his hygiene products come from hotels—note to self---buy some more). In the tiniest moment of self-indulgence I shave my leg and underarms with Charlie's razor. I'll buy him a new one when he gets home.

The shower washes away my despair.

God I feel so clean, so girly. Three months of grime, dirt, sweat and sea salt is finally off my body. Bugger, I don't have any clothes. So, I'm clean, but dripping wet, naked, in Charlie's flat, lovely. I hurry into his room and start to dig through his clothes, after all he's a small guy, surely I can find something to fit. My god how many pairs of jeans and tee shirts can one man own?

Hmm, he is one stunning blue suit. Why the hell would he have that jammed in the back of his closet? Oh it might have been the suit he wore to his mother funeral. Great now I feel like a jerk.

I pull on some jeans and a tee shirt. Aaron looks up at me, as he slowly wakes up. My child is naked. I clearly can't go out in public with a naked child. So I guess I'm trapped here, until the packages from arrive. I feed Aaron and tend to his needs for a while, until he takes one of twenty naps of his day.

It takes me ten minutes to figure out how to turn on the telly, Charlie has like fifteen remote. Horrible music pumps out of the speakers as the show starts. Why would anyone want to pimp out other car? Are they selling the car out as a limo service? Oh, they are just putting useless crap into their car. Well that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why would you need to put a fish tank in your car? Or five mini tellys? American's are so bloody weird. So the last channel Charlie was watching before he left was MTV. I push the Last Channel button to get a tiny glimpse of the man I love was like before we met. Not terribly surprising, BBC America.

Everywhere I look, I see Charlie. All the CDs are lined up in alphabetical order, music posters and albums cover the walls. Even he shirts have little ironic twists to them. But his collection of books are by far the most interesting, he has everything from the classics of Dickens to Orwell. He even has a rare copy of the _Odyssey_. I always sort of assumed Charlie was smart, he just made bad choices, but his books really confirmed it.

I wonder what he's doing right now. I wonder what time it is on the island? How is he holding up with us gone? Did everyone make it back to the beach alive? Now new horrible thoughts creep into my head, like the image o the leader of the Other's shooting Charlie in the back. God, I wish I knew he was all right.

Now how the bloody hell am I going to get him off the island?

There is a knock at the door. I pick up Aaron and look through the peephole. YAY my stuff is here. I open the door and a very annoyed USP man is standing in the hallway, "Did you order all this stuff?"

I nod, "Yep."

He grumbles, "It's a damn good thing you're hot." I really don't know how to react to that statement. He heads down stairs and starts to haul the boxes into the flat. Each box I count and see my life getting a tad bit easier. Aaron's crib, stroller, clothes, a diaper Genie, (I don't know what it is but apparently I have to have one,) a car seat, (I don't even know if he has a car, but I thought I might need one), a playpen, a ton a of toys, a sweat suit I ordered for myself and a book I thought I might need. Oh I should place an order for more towels too. And underwear.

Suddenly a horrible little man with a fake tan and awful fake hair rushes past the deliveryman, "Lady. Just who the hell do you think you are?'

"What's the trouble?" I ask. I have no idea how to handle the situation. Absent-mindedly I start to play my engagement ring.

"This apartment is supposed to be vacant, unless you have an ID, I am going to call the cops." Yells the horrible little man.

The deliveryman slams the last package down, "Lady, you better freaking live here, because I'm not carrying these boxes back down those stairs."

Why is everyone mad at me? I'm just trying to start a new life. My mouth hangs open. "Um my name is Claire… I'm Charlie's…"

"Sister in law." A voice calls from across the hallway. A Hispanic woman stands in her doorway.

The horrible little man turns to the woman, "You know her?" He points to me.

"Yeah." The woman nods. "I don't see why you freaking out about this Luke, Charlie's apartment is paid up for the next nine months. You couldn't rent it out anyway."

"I don't want squatters."

"I'm not." I totally am.

"Great you live here, your stuff is inside, good luck putting it all together." The UPS man huffs and leaves.

This Luke fellow glares at me, "If you need anything, fix it yourself." He quickly descends down the stairs, leaving me alone with the woman.

I smile, "Thanks."

"Who are you?" Her face becomes hard. "Because I know for damn sure you aren't his sister-in-law." She steps into the hallway. "How the hell did you get Charlie's DriveSHAFT ring?"

"Charlie's my fiancée." I stammer.

She thinks over my statement, she taps her finger to her chin, "You mean Charlie WAS your fiancée? Right?"

I shake my head violently, "No, he is he proposed a few days ago."

"Lady, Charlie was in a plane crash, you must have one hell of a story."

I sigh, glancing over my shoulder at all the boxes and items I have to put together. "Look I appreciate your help, but I've got a lot of work to do. So, you can either come in and listen to my story while I put together my baby's crib together, or you stand in the hallway judging me."

She stares at me for what feels like forever. "My name's Carla."

For three hours I talk and tell her the story as I put together Aaron's crib and stroller. I had to restart to stroller because I put the wheels on backwards but aside from that, everything is going smoothly. I tell her everything, from Thomas to the Others. Carla watches me intently, and providing very little help. We stop only for a few minutes to put a diaper on Aaron, which turns out is a lot more difficult then I thought it would be. I finish my story just as I finish putting together the playpen and sticking Aaron in it.

She sits quietly. She looks down at Aaron at me and back at the DriveSHAFT ring. "I don't believe about 95 of your story." She says flatly.

Of course she doesn't. Until a few minutes ago, I had never said it aloud. I don't even believe the story, and I lived it.

She grins slightly, "But I do believe the imaginary peanut butter part. So if I think that part is true, then other parts of the story must be true." She picks up a teddy bear and puts it in the playpen with Aaron. "I went to the memorial service for Oceanic flight 815. They showed the surveillance footage of each person walking into the plane. I cried when I saw Charlie. He might have been a druggie, but he was a good man, and it killed me to think that no one was there to support him, to help him when he needed it. I few minutes later, a very young pregnant woman walked onto the plane. There was an older woman named Helen sitting next to me, she had been crying when a man who was in a wheelchair was carried onto the plane. Anyway, she commented on the pregnant woman walking to the plane; something about like she was too close to giving birth to be flying. Why would the airline let her fly? I shrugged, because I didn't know. I remember feeling really sorry for this young girl, because it wasn't just her life but her baby's life that was lost. Helen said, 'You need hope and faith, people survive plane crashes all the time.' I didn't have the heart to tell her no." Carla pushes her hair out of her eyes, "You know I really shouldn't believe any of your story. But I believe the part about the imagery peanut butter and I believe you love Charlie. He helped me out a lot, I owe him everything. So if there is anything I can help you with, just let me know, I live across the hall."

Her story touches me, it really does, but I've got more things on my mind then just ancient history. "I need a doctor. Aaron hasn't had any shots. I don't know a lot about parenting, but I pretty sure he needs to see a doctor."

"Well if your story is true, you don't have any identification and you've entered this country illegally." She laughs a little at the irony of the situation the shakes it off. "I know a clinic you can go to. They don't ask any questions. I would refrain from telling people your story. They might think you're insane." She stands up, "Of course, falling in love with Charlie Pace might be the smartest thing you've ever done."

For the first time since I arrived, I have hope.

Of course that doesn't last long. Aaron and I spend nearly ten hours in waiting in the free clinic. For the one of the wealthiest counties on Earth I don't think I've ever seen such poverty. I shutter to think I could be just a few steps away from this.

Aaron pulls at his shirt and fusses with his socks, pulling them off and crying whenever I put them on. He isn't adjusting well to clothes. I dig through the baby bag and pull out a binky, hoping that it might distract him and keep everyone from giving me death glares. He willing accepts it and instantly stops crying. My God this thing is magic.

As the doctor examines Aaron, she asks me questions I have a hard time answering. I ask her some questions about his behaviors, his gooey slobber. The doctor smiles at me, "he's teething, wedmore time he will stop."

"Excuse me, did you just say, 'Wedmore'?" Why do I know that name?

"I said, 'with more'. Well Ms.…" He waits for me to say my name.

"Pace. Claire Pace." I just wanted to try the name out.

"Ms. Pace you have a very healthy boy." The doctor smiles at me and I'm glowing. The Other's didn't hurt Aaron, he's safe. And someone just called me Ms. Pace, wow that's kinda cool.

Nothing could kill my good mood. I smile down at my son. When I hear someone call out, "Dad, look there she is!" I know that voice. I haven't heard it a while but I know it.

Walt! It's Walt! He comes running up me. He smiles brightly at me and then looks down at Aaron. "Wow he's gotten so big. He looks different with clothes on." Walt laughs to himself.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with my jaw agape.

"He knew you were going to be here." Michael comes up behind me. I stomach turns and rage charges my actions.

"Yes, but why are YOU here. What didn't you have any more people to betray?" I snip.

Michael sighs, "Look, I'm not asking you to forgive me but out of everyone, surely you understand, I had to so this for my son."

"I would never betray and abandon my friends in order to do so." Ha-ha! Beat that.

"Sure you did, you got off the island didn't you? What have you done to get the other people off?"

"I needed to take care of Aaron…"

"But all those people are still on the island and you're about to walk into a Starbuck's. Do you think Hurley, Jack, or Charlie has that sort of luxury? Nope."

Ouch, it feels like he's stabbed me in the stomach. "What do you want, Michael?"

"I want to move on. I need to live my life without the ghost of all the people on Oceanic flight 815. I want you to look for a solution now." He pulls his backpack off of his shoulder and holds out files.

"What's that?"

"I've been doing as much research as I could. On Oceanic, Hanso Corporation, DHARMA, even the other passages. I'll give this to you, for a fee."

Figures. He wants money. I roll my eyes.

Walter stands up and stares me directly in my eyes. God he's gotten so old. "Claire, please don't be mad at my dad. There's nothing else he can do. Its up to you now. You need to find the Key, then the Lucky Penny. Only then can you bring Charlie and everyone else home. Its up to you to reunite the family."

Man he's a creepy kid.

"Fine how much do you want for it?"

"Ten thousand." He says flatly.

"Ha! Who do you think I am?" I laugh.

"I think Charlie had a large sum of money, and he left it all to you."

I frown, "Well, I don't have that kind of money with me."

"I'll take what you have. I just need to start over again. I want to try a small Midwest town. You understand don't you?" Michael pleads.

I sigh and gave him the three thousand dollars I am carrying. I was planning on going shopping for clothes, food, plates, and towels but since it took so much longer then I expected in the clinic I give up the money.  
Michael smiles at me and disappears out of my life forever.

I spend nearly a month sifting through all the data Michael left me. It would have gone faster but Aaron has starting teething and he cries most of the time. While on one side I know its his gums hurting, apart of me thinks he misses Charlie. I miss him so much, sometimes it out be impossible to get out of bed if it weren't for Aaron. Thankfully Carla visits almost every day to cheer me up. The larger problem is that the information Michael obtained is incredibly depressing.

1) Oceanic Air is own by the Hanso Foundation who happens to be funding the DHARMA Initiative.

2) Some crazy girl named Rachel Blake thinks the Hanso Foundation is going to kill 30 of the population… lovely.

3) It was costing Oceanic Air nearly 5 million dollars a day to search for the Flight 815 and as soon as 90 of the passengers' families signed the death certificates as well as a stipend of $150,000 for compensation, Oceanic stopped the search.

4) My mom sighed the death certificate.

5) Technically I'm dead. Claire Littleton is dead… That was quite a bombshell and it held up the investigation for a while. After Carla pulled me out of fetal position on the ground, she send me to a guy she knew to get an "paper work" So I am an American…sort of, and my new name is Claire Maria Pace. I smile every time I say it.

6) Oh the security system at Sydney airport leaves a lot to be desired. According to the Michael's file many people an "interesting past"

- Mr. Eko was a Warlord

-Jin was a hit man

-Sawyer was a con man (Not surprising) and pulled a hit in Australia

-John was paralyzed

-Hurley's a millionaire

-Rose has cancer

-Kate blew up her dad, has been married and drugged her husband and has been on the run for years.

-Oh and they let Charlie enter the plane with heroin.

7) Penelope Wedmore is now on the board of directors for the Hanso cooperation, after her father passed away. --- I still can't figure out why that name sounds familiar.

8) Liam was the only one who did not sign the death certificate.

9) Charlie had bought a huge amount of stock in Oceanic and sold it just before coming to LA.

10) NBC is making an made for TV movie… I'm going to be played by Janel Moloney she plays Donna on the West Wing; I'm not that old!

All in all the information is depressing and one long dead end. This was the worst three thousand dollars I've ever spent.

I shut the files for the night; I've got a headache trying to find a connection or a pattern. I can see why Michael gave up. Aaron is giggling in his playpen. I smile down at him and thank God for the only shred of joy in my life. Aaron throws one the many plastic balls he tries to chew on out of his playpen. He looks surprised that it went away. His face starts to squish up and turn red. I raise myself from the chair, "Don't worry Mummy will get it for you."

I head into the bedroom and search the ground for it. On my hands and knees I find it under the bed. It would have rolled back farther but something stopped it. I retrieve the ball and the other object. I threw the ball back into the playpen, careful not to hit Aaron with it. I look down at the object in my hand. It's a DVD… its called, Naughty Undergrad: The Bi Years. Oh my god! Its porn! I drop it on the ground. Oh yuck.

Well Charlie's parting words to me was that he had porn. I just didn't go out of my way to find it. He really keeps it under his bed. How cliché. I'm about to kick it back under the bed, when I see it opened up. Well the DVD could be loose. I pick it up to shut it and kick it back to its shameful home. A piece of paper falls out. Strange, it looks like a bank statement. WOW that's a lot of money. Charlie have you been holding out on me? I look at the name on statement Joseph Mittlewerk. Who the hell is that? And why the hell is his bank statement in Charlie's porn stash?

My last days with Charlie start to flood my brain and I find myself under his bed tiring though his porn. All of them have bank statements, stock receipts for sales and buys, and a few of them have his tax statements. When I get to the DVD called "Four Legged Lovers" besides being highly grossed out, I open the case. There's no DVD, no paperwork. But there is a key.

My God Charlie, who are you?


	4. Chapter 4:Tea and Music

Love and Memories:

Author's Note: Wow I was so productive over the long weekend I've written most of the rest of the story, so I should be updating more rapidly. YAY. This is a Ben chapter and his time line moves a little slower then Claire's, its just something to keep in mind. This chapter starts off just after Claire left on the boat. I hope you enjoy the story. Ben starts to come into his own in this chapter.  
Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Chapter 4

Tea and Music

Ben's POV

I've spent the last four days reading and rereading Charlie Pace's files. Nothing unusual. Raised in Manchester, older bother's name is Liam. Decent grades in grammar school, and High school. He could have even gone to a university. There was a small stint where he wanted to be a priest but opted for a life in rock and roll instead. He wrote all the songs on the album but was pushed out of the light because he brother was the lead singer. His mother passed away while the band was at the height of its fame. He fell into drugs. He admitted himself into rehab but checked out before the treatment was over. Interestingly an anonymous donor paid it. My best guess is it was his brother. He was smart with his money, a large portion was spent on drugs but most of it was invested wisely. He has a flat in Manchester a few blocks from where he grew up and has a place in LA currently being occupied by Claire Littleton and Aaron.

The kid should have been dead a couple of times, but just narrowly misses the scythe between the drug use and the plane crash, I would say this kid has a golden horseshoe crammed up his ass.

Still nothing about his file stands out. Nothing answers my question of why would he stay behind. He forced Claire and Aaron onto a boat to leave the island but when he was offered a chance to leave, he declined. I just don't understand.

Why?

Why? Didn't he want to leave? Why would he leave Claire alone in a big city? Alone?

Ugh. I rubbed my head and scrub at my hair. Great now it's going to be spikier then normal.

Juliet stands in my doorway with that smug grin she always has. "Are you still trying to solve the great Charlie Pace Mystery?"

"Yeah, it's not going too well."

"I liked Tom's theory, 'he really just loved her. There would be more money for her to live off of if he wasn't there to spend it.'"

I scoffed, "So you're saying he loved her so much he stayed behind? Please no one loves anyone that much."

Her voice becomes ice, "You're right, Ben."

I want to apologize to her, but I can't. If I started I don't think I would know how to stop. Instead I say nothing.

"You know, you could just ask him." She crosses her arms around her body. She glares in my direction until I finally cave in. I stand and head over to Alex's bedroom.

I knock before entering, a habit I've developed since she turned eleven. She's playing with Infinity and reading a Jane Austin book. She doesn't even look up at me. "Are you coming in to eat my bunny? Because you know how evil you are."

I sigh and I'm an inch away from banning Jane Austin in the house, but I know that's not going to work. "You wanna go on a walk?" Clearly she's learned her icy glare from Juliet. "Look, you can't go see Claire and Aaron, but how about the next best thing?"

She puts down the book and smiles at me for the first time a months.

So Tom, Danny, Juliet and Alex accompany me on this little trek. We walk onto the beach. Sawyer looks up from his book, Kate stares at us weary, Hurley stops chopping some fruit and all other activity stops. It feels like time as been frozen and I'm the only one who can walk though it. I call out to the stiff people, "Hello my name is Benjamin Linins and I make a terrible first, second, tenth and twentieth first impression."

Tom pipes in behind me, 'It really when you meet him for like the twenty fifth time you see he's a nice guy."

There is still stunned silence from the group. Until Hurley speaks up, "You know this would have been awesome like three months ago."

"Well live and learn." I shrug trying to play it as cool as I can. Which as it turns out, I'm not very cool. Alex dashes from behind me when she sees Charlie. He's standing near some structure with half a roof and sides, sort of.

"Hi!" She bounds up to him, filled with unharnessed energy and glee. Charlie jumps slightly, unsure what to make of her. "I'm Alex!" She introduces herself without hesitation. Charlie still looks confused by her presences.

He pushes the hair out of his eyes, "Um ok."

"Claire used to talk about you all the time when she said with us."

Charlie grins with pride, "really?"

"Yeah I was the one who got her out."

He nods slightly, "Well then I guess I have a lot to thank you for. You brought the love of my life back to me."

She blushes and tuckers her hair behind her ear. Is she flirting? Yeah that's going to need to end right now.

"You're way cooler then Creepy Ethan."

"Well with a name like Creepy Ethan its hard not to be." Charlie smirked. His eyes quickly shift away from Alex to the ocean shore. His mouth tightens into a straight line. He's not comfortable talking about Ethan, something about the way he looks so lost, makes me think Charlie's never really talked about him. Am I sympathetic in the least, no? But still, it's interesting.

Alex looks around to the tents about out of tarp and the other items, "So you guys live out here?"

"Yep." His eyes are still focused on the water.

"It sucks." She frowns

"Yep." He smirks again.

"So why didn't you get on the boat?"

"I have my reasons." And that's my cue. I trek over the sand to meet Charlie.

My hand instantly goes on her back, "Alex, honey why don't you go see what Tom's doing?" In a rare moment of obedience she scampers off. For a few moments neither of us talks, we just watch the water that took Claire away.

I clear my throat, "So you have no reason to trust us. And if it wasn't for the mysterious reason that you stayed behind on this island that my daughter so eloquently put it, "Sucks" we wouldn't have a reason to trust you. But Claire seemed to want the two groups to get alone…"

"Claire is a much more forgiving person then I am." Charlie cuts me off but he remains focused on the waves.

"I see. So we're back to square one, are we?" hmm disappointing

"What are you doing here?" He finally breaks his graze and peers at me.

"It's a new day Charlie." He seems not amused by the fact that I'm using Claire's words. "And I brought tea." I dig into my pocket and hand him a few tea bags. He conceders them. "Mostly I'm here because I'm sure losing Claire must be hard on you." He says nothing and lets me talk. "Maybe you're tired of playing the guitar, maybe you might want to play the piano instead."

Now for the first time in the conversation he appears interested. "You have one?"

"Yep, it's a nice one too. If you ever wanted to come by and play it, that would be fine by us." I shrug and hand him directions on how to get there.

"Are you going to perform any freaking psychological experiments on me?" Charlie cocked his eyebrow. "Am I going to drool when a bell rings, because I already get an erection when I think about breasts, I don't think I could handle both."

His comment catches me off guard and I laugh. "Um no. Sorry to disappoint you. I figured that Claire stopped a war and you showed integrity, offering you a chance to play the piano is the least I can do."

"Literary." Charlie scoffed. But his voice softens, "I'll think about it."

"Good."

I round up my troops and we start to head back. Alex is beaming now that she finally got to speak to Charlie. She bouncing, "Hey do you think he's going to come by?"

"He might. Hey while we're on this side of the island, do you want to go see your mom?" I smile at her, but I already know what her answer is going to be.

Alex shakes her head, "No, she never remembers me anyway." I kiss her lightly on the forehead.

"I'm so sorry about that, Kiddo."

"You tried Dad, I know you tried." Alex jogs ahead to talk to Dan about something. It's the first time she's called me "Dad" in nearly a year.

I feel something nudge me on the shoulder, "You did good today. That meant a lot to her." Juliet smiles at me. Well isn't this interesting. For the first time in months both of my women are pleased with me. I should celebrate. Maybe I'll throw Carl back into the bear cages again. I can't suppress my grin as we walk home.

It takes a week for Charlie to accept the offer. The piano was Colleen's and not in the working location. Which means Charlie got a free invitation into our inner sanction. He appears nervous as his eyes shift from side to side and his hands are dug deep into his pockets. Before I can get to him my daughter's stupid boyfriend, Carl, assaults him. "Hey, you're that Rock Star guy right? Wow I bet you got laid like all the time..huh?" Shut up you hyperactive spaz. Charlie's eyes narrow as he glares at Carl. See the problem with Carl is that he has not mastered non-verbal cues. He has no idea what Charlie's glare means. "Yeah you know who is hot over on your side of island, that Shannon chick. You ever hit that?'

"Shannon's dead."

"Bummer." Carl thinks of a second, "But that chick with the kid, DAMN she was FINE, boy would I love to get behind that."

Charlie's fist starts to shake, and in a tone I've never heard from a British man he growls, "If you enjoy pissing standing up, you will never speak to me again."

Carl cowers away as I approach Charlie. "I see you've met Alex's boyfriend."

"She can do better." Charlie grumbles.

"I completely agree." He starts to follow me as I lead him through the village, "I've been locking him in the polar bear cages when he pisses me off, but I'm looking for a more perminate solution." I smirk and hope he can tell I'm joking.

"You could give a coat filled with fish and tell him to searching for the "big white fuzzy dogs with really sharp teeth and claws" on the island Or you could have him spend more time with Locke, bad stuff happens to everyone who hangs around him." Once again Charlie's deadpan delivery makes me laugh.

As we walk to the house, I stand before the door, "I'm surprised you came."

Charlie shrugs, "I have nothing left to lose and an piano to gain." He looks around, "Alex is right, compared to this place our beach does suck."

"In all fairness we've been here longer and we've got better funding." I open the door and Dan's sitting in his living room reading, "Um Charlie this is Dan Pickett, the piano's was his wife's."

Charlie was silent for a moment before he addresses Dan, "I am very sorry for your loss. I don't have to play if it will be disrespectful to her memory." Charlie's words are so heartfelt and honest. Obviously he's dealing with the same pain as Dan only on a smaller scale.

Dan speaks softly, "Colleen was a great wife and an even better friend but she was a terrible piano player. As long as you steer away from "Hot Cross Buns" and "Heart and Soul" we should be ok." Dan nods at Charlie and leaves. I honestly didn't expect him to stay. Tom should be coming shortly since we aren't about to leave Charlie unattended.

I point to this wooded instrument and Charlie slowly lifts the lid. His fingers skim over the keys. As if he was touching the most fragile material in the world. One of the keys he pressed with more weight, its note echoes through the room. He seems pleased. He sits on the bench and there is a reunion of two old friends. The music fills the air. Just when I feel like I am invading Charlie's privacy, Tom comes to the door and I take my leave.

I head back to my "office" gather some of Charlie's files and return home. I'm gone more then an hour and I find Tom sitting in the gazebo. Very far away from Danny's house, very far away from Charlie.

"What the hell are you doing out here?"

Tom looks up at me and then back down at his shoes. He sighs, "I swear to God I was about to kill myself if I listened to the music anymore. It was the saddest music I've ever heard. The finny thing was they were all songs I recognized but the way he played them, it was tearing my heart out and placing it on the mantle for everyone to see."

"Where is he now?"

"Oh he's still there."

"Alone?"

"No, I think Alex is with him."

"You left a drug addict, sex obsessive rock start ALONE with my 15 year old daughter?" I shout and suddenly feel the urge to punch him.

"No, the women are hanging around." What? I start to race to the other end of the village. I stop short when I see, a large portion the women sitting outside the house, soaking in every word Charlie says to Alex with the piano providing the soundtrack.

I'm not sure what they're talking about but I come in around when Charlie says, "Sayid's not that bad."

"Oh yes he is. He beat up Ben." Ah Alex coming to my rescue, it would have been nicer if she called me Dad, but beggars can't be chooser.

Charlie sighs, "Listen, Sayid's a good man, he was my friend when no one else was. I agree hurting Ben was a very bad idea but you need to understand something. I'll take you back to the beginning. There was a girl named Shannon and Sayid loved her. A long story short Anna Lucia shot and killed Shannon by accident. Now Anna Lucia was very scared because she thought the "Others", you guys, were after her. So even though Anna Lucia killed Shannon, Sayid blamed you guys. It was the same thing with Danny Pickett and Sawyer. There was no way Sawyer could have been the one who killed Colleen, but Pickett took his anger out on Sawyer."

"Well are you mad at us because we made Claire go away?"

"I'm mad you guys took her away from me for two horrible weeks."

"Oh. Do you want to beat any of us up?"

He laughs, "No, I'm a small guy, I don't think there is anyone I could take." My money says he could take Carl if he really wanted to.

Alex voice gets soft, "Do you miss Claire and Aaron?"

All the women outside of the house lean forward as Charlie speaks, "Only when I breathe."

Juliet bites her lip and swoons a little bit. I roll my eyes at her, "Oh come on, you're buying that crap."

She hisses at me, "Some men have these things, they're called feelings. Try them someday." She turns away and heads back to her house.

I'm about to call out to her when I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Excuse me, Ben."

Deloris, an elderly lady, with salt and pepper hair, smiles brightly at me as she produces a plate of cookies. Mentally I cringe. "Yes, Deloris."

"I made these cookies for Danny in his time of loss and pain, but could you see to it that Charlie gets some too. That poor boy has been through so much."

"Of course." Oh poor Charlie. I don't think he really deserves this sort of punishment. I smile at Deloris and take the plate as I enter the house.

Charlie continues to play as Alex chatters away about meaningless nothings. "Hey, Alex isn't it time for you to go watch the little ones?" She turns to me and grumbles something but looks down in horror to the plate of cookies in my hand.

"Are those Deloris Cookies?" Her eyes wide and her lip sneers.

"You want one?" I wiggle my eyebrows in her direction. She violently shakes her head and runs out of the room.

I listen as Charlie finishes the song. Tom's right, it is a song I recognize but the way he plays it, it's like a whole new song. "You want a cookie?"

Charlie looks at the chocolate chips and smiles. I'm about to warn him about it, but its too late. He pops the confection in his mouth and nearly instantly he turns green, his face scrunches up and he gags. Like a trooper he chews and swallows it. "Oh God, that's what evil tastes like."

I try to suppress my laughter, "Deloris keeps baking the cookies for Danny but she ran out of sugar three months ago. I have no idea what she uses instead. But evil could be an accurate description. Go get a soda from the fridge." Charlie nods and rushes into the kitchen.

Charlie downs about half the can and frowns, "Why won't the taste leave my mouth?"

"It likes to linger. Sorry about that." I drop is file on the coffee table; his eyes followed it from the air to the thud on the table. He considers the file and looks back to me. "Normally we would do this in a observation room with a big metal table and no paint, you know, to intimidate you. But I think you've been through enough since you ate the cookie. Take a seat."

"What's that?" He sits on the armchair and sips his soda, slower now.

"This is your life."

"Really, do you have the orgy in Brazil? Good times." He raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sorry but no."

"You're loss." He shrugs. "I guess you have all of my nasty little secrets in there. My con to Lucy, my arrest in Brisbane, drug treatment and such. On paper I'm a monster, huh?"

"No more then anyone else on your side of the island. I mean a lot of those people are really screwed up. You wanna see?" I smile, deep down I secretly like to gossip.

Charlie frowns, "Nah, I have to live with those guys."

I like that he's honest and loyal; the information in these folders could changed the position of power in his little tribe. But instead he chooses to keep everyone's secrets private. Interesting. "You're not so much a monster as much as you are a mystery. You're a follower, that's for certain. You let your brother push you around and you're constantly looking for approval, you made more then your fair share of bad mistakes. But there are other things in this file as well. You paid your neighbor's rent up front for a year. Why would you do that?"

Charlie swirls the soda around in a can, "I'm a sucker for single mom's incase you couldn't tell." He looks up to see if I'm reacting to his statement, when he sees I don't, he looks back down at the soda. "My apartment building happens to be located in a district with good public schools. Her son is six and learning how to read. If a kid doesn't learn it at an early age, it really messes them up for a while. Or at least according to the statistics. Anyway, she could afford the rent if she let her abusive ex-boyfriend back in. The way I figured, seeing you mom get beat every night was worse then not being able to read. I had some extra cash lying around and helped her out. No big deal."

"Were you sleeping with her?"

Charlie coughs out laughter, "With Carla? No, she wasn't really my type. Too much work to get her knickers off. See I was a real bastard."

"A bastard who made some good investments. See and that's what I don't understand. You spent a few months living on the street, begging for money, but you had nearly a hundred thousand shares investing in various companies, including the Hanso Cooperation, the parent company to Oceanic Air. Why didn't you sell your stock?"

"Because I didn't know how. Besides, that was what I was supposed to retire with, I not about to sell all my stock so I can get another hit. Being broke is just temporary situation. I'm not going to use my safety net for that. I only sold a few shares off when I wanted to make a new life for myself in LA."

"But you were willing to give all of it to Claire?"

"Of course."

"You're a strange man, I can't figure you out.." I shake my head and finally ask the question that's been keeping me up at night. "So why did you stay behind, why didn't you leave with her?"

Charlie leans back in his chair, "You know what the worse part about you guys kidnapping her was? Not know what happened to her. It's the "what ifs?" that killed me. That's what I want to know. You won't learn what you want to know until I learn what I want to." He stands up to leave. "Hey can I take these cookies with me?"

"Why?"

"We don't have a telly and these will provide me with hours of entertainment."

I nod at him, lost in my own thoughts for a second. "Charlie, you know Claire came back to you fine. You know she wasn't hurt."

"I don't know that for certain."

'What about now, now that she's gone from you line of vision. You don't know if she's safe or scared or hurt."

"It's killing me slowly. It's the unknowns that make me imagine the worst. It making me loses hope." He looks out to the window.

"That's a dangerous thing to lose." I whisper. I don't know why I hand him the paper. Maybe it's because I think he's funny. Maybe its because I want know the truth. Maybe its because I like the music. I really I think its because I want him to like me. "Here."

His brows furrow. "What is it?"

"A print out of all the charges made to your credit card in the pass few days. I think its funny she bought, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting."

Charlie smiles as he reads the paper. For a while he says nothing and stands in the doorway, "Thanks for the cookies, and the use of the piano. If you don't mind I'll be back to play it again."

"Sure."

He stares down at the paper and looks up, "I stayed behind for many many reasons. Eko and I started building a church. After he died, I felt it was important to finish it. I had to stay until it was done."

Charlie disappeared though the door. Well once again, you've surprised me Mr. Pace. One thing, it looks like this could be the start of a friendship. I know, it shocks me too.


	5. Chapter 5: The Key and the Lucky Penny

Author's Note: It's a Claire chapter, you so know what that means, scattered and random thoughts. In case anyone cares the order of the rest of the chapters will be Claire, Ben, Claire, Ben, Charlie and an epilogue with Ben. This chapter was one of the orginial ideas for the story. (I only have two more chapters to write in this story so I should be updating quickly.) Not a whole lot to say about this one. I hope you enjoy it as always.

Love and Memories

Chapter 5

The Key and the Lucky Penny.

Claire's POV

I don't know what I am expecting to find here. But I've been parking in Joseph Mittlewerk's staring at his perfectly manicured lawn and three-story house for nearly an hour. It took me nearly a week to work up the nerve to drive out to La Jolia and go check this place out. I hate the unknown, even more so now. But I have so many questions and my only hope for an answer is in that house.

I spent the last week doing some research on my dear friend Jo. Apparently Mr. Mittlewerk owned a lot of the same stocks that Charlie does but a larger amounts. But according to a Google search, he doesn't exist. But there is a Thomas Mittlewerk who happens to be the President of the Hanso Corperation and who lost his son nearly twenty-six years ago in a car accident,

What I don't understand is if Joseph does exist then who's house am I standing in front of?

An even larger question is why was his stock and bank statements hidden in Charlie's porn stash?

Hell this key in my hand might not even be for his house.

I think I am beginning to smell I wild goose chance.

I pull Aaron out of his car seat and carry him to the front door. What do I have to lose? Just my dignity and whose does gonna see me lose that, other then Aaron. God I hope there's no security system.

I deep a breath and hold it as I slip the key into lock. It fits. I exhale. I open the door and enter a world I've only dreamed of. Marble floors, spiral staircase, and a crystal chandelier. Everything feels to elegant and formal. It's the exact opposite of Charlie's apartment. Charlie radiated out of every aspect of that place, but here, its crystal, cold and empty.

I shiver, but I'm not cold.

There is a huge pile of mail on the counter; clearly Mr. Mittlewerk hasn't been here in a long time. I open the cabinets, there's they are empty, expect for one box of English toffee. I smile thinking about Charlie.

I nearly snap my neck when I hear the front door open and a woman call out, "Hello?"

I stand in the kitchen, my brain freezes, and Aaron shifts in my arm. "Um Hello?" I call back out. For a woman who's been kidnapped, you would think I would be smarter about this situation.

Ok the woman looks like Shannon in ten years, if Shannon was a platinum blonde and alive. She smiles carefully at me, "Hi, I'm Susan. I live next door."

"Oh hi." Please don't ask what I'm doing here.

"So, who are you?"

"Um, I'm Claire." Please no follow up questions.

"Claire, what are you doing in my neighbor's house?"

"Mr. Mittlewerk is thinking about selling. I'm his real-estate agent." I hope that sounded confident and convincing. Now that I've lied to you, please go away.

"Oh, what a shame." She frown or I think she would be frowning if it weren't for all the botox. "He was such a good neighbor."

"So you know him?" I ask as Aaron tugs on my hair.

"Well, not so much 'know him' as much as I've been picking up his mail for the past three years. He called me the day after he moved in, he said he wouldn't be around often and if I could bring in his mail once a week. He used to come by about once a month, pick up the mail and leave me some flowers." She smiles and laughs, "it was the most rewarding relationship I've been in."

"So you've never met him?" I'm getting nervous about this and I don't know why.

"He's written me notes and sends me a great fruit basket at the holidays. Oh I know he's like British or something. Since he's never around I was sort of taking advantage of the situation and using his house my own personal love nest with my boyfriend Paulo. Joseph left me a note, "stop shagging in my house, if I'm not getting any, you shouldn't either." I had ever heard the word 'shagging' before I saw 'Austin Powers.' Although I'm not sure how he figured it out. Hell my husband doesn't even know." She shrugged then looked down at the pile of mail. "So you've heard from him right? Because he hasn't come back in a few months. Which is strange because he texted me about picking up a package but I haven't heard from him since."

My stomach starts to twist up. "Do you remember when this was?"

"Yeah it was a day before that plane crashed into the ocean. You remember that?"

"Yeah I remember." I say flatly.

"But you heard from him, right? He's ok. That's why he's selling?" She looks at me fore hopeful concern. I bite my lip and nod. "If you need anything let me know, tootles." She waves at me and hurries out just as fast as she comes in.

Once again, I'm alone. Very alone. Standing in someone's house, who has been missing since the plane crash… maybe Joseph didn't survive, maybe he was on board and we burnt his body.

But that still doesn't explain why his bank statements were in Charlie's flat. Oh my old and familiar friend, square one. You welcome me with open arms don't you?

I guess I should go but a slow grin ebbs on my face; of course this is my only chance to see how the rich people live. Besides shouldn't I get to know Joseph?

I walked around his house and quickly notice he's missing stuff. Furniture. He has one couch and one telly in his living room. But he has a huge stereo and speaker system. Hmm it's the same brand as Charlie's. And this Joseph guy loves his music, all his CD's are alphabetized by category, hmm The Clash, The Cure, The Kinks, and Social Distortion and a ton of Beatles CD's. There are a lot of the same CD's Charlie has. I guess lots of guys like that music. Still there is a nagging feeling I just can't shake. My legs start to get weak and I sit down on the couch and place Aaron next to me.

My hands are shaking and I can't figure out why.

Just take a few deep breaths and everything should be fine.

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale.

Oh the Telly remote. It's the same one in Charlie's flat.

I feel sick as the TV flashes to MTV.

I hit the last channel button, BBC America.

OH MY GOD!

I wasn't expecting such a physical reaction, but all the contents of my stomach start to make its way up my throat. I sprint to the nearest rest room. After I release the contents of my stomach then I lie on the floor. The cool porcelain feels perfect against my skin. I want to cry, I want to weep, and I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

This can't be true. I mean, my Charlie? He couldn't be? Could he?

Evidence I need more proof before I make a decision. I rush back to Aaron and lug him around as I search the house.

Think, Claire, think, what do you know? You've been living in Charlie's home for two months now, what do you know?

He writes all important information down.

He hides things in common locations.

I start to turn objects upside down, vases, teacups and pillows. I search all four bedrooms, looking for a computer but there's nothing. There is an Internet router but no computer. So I guess he used a laptop. My stomach once again is making the trip up my throat.

I start opening all the closets going through his clothes. Suits, finely tailored perfect suits, just like the one in Charlie's closet. Oh god the pieces are slowly starting to fit together.

In the bottom on the closet there's a safe. I have to get into the safe. I place Aaron on the floor and I try tons of number combinations. His birthday, his address, this address but nothing. Think Claire think. Where would he hide the combination?

Where would he hide it where he would remember but no one else would look?

Where does he hide things he doesn't want people to find?

Under the bed!

Ok I really don't know where my life took a turn down a path where I would be crawling under some stranger's bed looking for a safe combination. Aaron looks at me as if I am quite mad and I think he could be right. I sigh deeply about to give up on this silly flight of fancy, after all who am I go to breaking into some guys safe? What's to say that this guy would even write his safe combination down? And why the hell would it be written under his bed. This is stupid Claire just plain, bloody hell, something is written on the bed frame.

A three number combination.

I crawl under from the bed and try my luck with the code. I should be shocked, I should be horrified but at this point I am just filled with anticipation as I hear the click of the lock unlashing and the safe opening. Papers, more stock statements, some tax returns, nothing amazing, nothing that really links him to Charlie. I'm not sure if I should sigh of relief or what.

I numbly read through the papers, this guy owns a ton of the Hanso Corporation stock. So far I've discovered nothing interest until I dig at the bottom of metal box and find leather bound copy of the odyssey. Strange, in my survey of the house, this is the only book I've found. My fingers dance of the cover feeling each bumpy ridge, as I hold it in my hand. I flip through the pages when the book stops and opens to a bookmarked page. It isn't the content of page that is important as much as the bookmark itself. It's a photograph, of a young boy, around eight years old with a woman in her late twenties with her arm around the boy's shoulder. He smile's brightly, I know that smile. I see it in my sleep. His blonde dusty hair falls in front of his gray eyes. The woman is copper hair that seems to capture the light. She looks like she doesn't smile often, but this kid is one of the reasons she does. I wonder who's taking the picture. I flip the picture over, in black sharpie it says, "me and Penny."

I flip back to the picture and for some reason the boy gets burly, very blurry, I blink and I my hand feel wet. I pull my knees up to my chest and start to sob and honestly I don't fully understand why.

I do know this; the boy in the picture is my Charlie. I just don't know who he is anymore.

It's a long drive home.

I've been trying to hold everything together; my crying fit back out Joseph's house didn't really make me feel better. I lug all Aaron and all the stuff back into Charlie's flat. I feed Aaron, it takes longer since I am trying to feed him baby food instead of breast milk. Tonight's menu is applesauce, mostly because it is the only kind I enjoy too. What? I got courteous and started trying some. After I clean Aaron up and change his diaper, I lay him down to bed. Normally I try to hum a little song, or tell him something about Charlie, but tonight it just hurts too much.

I can feel another crying fit coming; it's forming in my legs and slowly working its way up. I stop only because Carla knocks at the door. She smiles and offers me some of her leftovers. "So did you go down to La Jolia?"

Now I start to cry, weep, as I confess everything I've learned. Moreover I figure out what's really bothering me about this situation. "He lied to me. Sure I knew he was a liar and a junkie but I trusted him anyway. God I loved him anyway. So help me I really did. But I don't know whom I feel in love with. His parting words to me were, "Everything I told you was true." But if he lied about the most fundamental aspect about his life then how can I trust anything he said? All those whispers in the dark, tiny confessions, now they're meaningless. Empty."

"Like what?" Carla asks.

"Huh?"

"What did he confess?"

"Like I was the only woman he's ever loved. Aaron and I were the reason he decided to clean up his life. But, most of the time it was little jokes. Oh like he said he was the heir to a multi billion dollar company." Oh crap. Now I'm starting to feel stupid. I wipe my tears off my cheek and look up at Carla, "he didn't lie, did he?"

"That's what it looks like."

"Bloody hell." I sink my head in my hands. "Still, I don't know who he is, is Charlie still a good man, or is it Joseph? Does he have two different personalities or is it just two different names? It's just too much, I want to ask him, get some answers."

"Then get him off that island." She rolls her eyes at me.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW!" I yell, does she really think that it's that easy? Oh like the answer is going to be sitting in my lap the whole time.

Carla stands up and walks around the couch for a few times when her forehead starts to crease, "What book is that?"

"Oh this?" I pick up the book I stole and hand it over to Carla, "its just the 'Odyssey' I found in the safe. There's a picture of him as a kid in there."

"Um Claire, did you even look at the book?"

"Not really why?" I twist around to watch her.

"Well for starters it is identical to the book that's on his bookshelf but this one has an inscription on the inside cover: 'Penny, let's be friends again. When I'm famous again, I'll help you with your search. Money, time, Patience's and love, that's all anyone needs in this world. Merry Christmas 2004.' Claire this was a gift for that Penny chick. He was supposed to give it to her this Christmas but he was stuck on the island so he missed it."

I've heard that before something about money and time and love. Images of my old life on the island flash in my mind. Nothing's clicking so far. But I head over to his bookshelf and pull out the copy of the 'Odyssey.'

"What's this book about anyway?" Carla asks. I hold the book in my hand thinking the answer over. I haven't read it since High School.

"Its about this solider, Odysseus, his really smart but equally proud and its pride that makes him lose favor with the Sea God. So Poseidon makes sure it going to take him a long time to return to his wife, Penelope. Odysseus crashes on a whole bunch of islands and it takes nearly ten years for him to get home." Hmm that does sound a lot like Desmond.

I flip through the copy in my hand and check comes flies out and floats to the floor. It's written by Joseph's checking account for several thousands of dollars to a Penelope Wedmore. The memo says: For rehab. But across the front in very feminine handwriting, its says, "Charlie don't be silly, just get yourself the help you need. You're worth it."

He went into rehab? Penelope Wedmore… the women who is sitting on the board at the Hanso Corporation? How does she know Charlie?

The book has one more clue for me, a wedding invitation for Penelope and some other guy I don't recognize. But across the invitation in black sharpie and very clearly Charlie's handwriting. "So much for true love. I guess you'll do anything to make your daddy happy. I've never been more disappointed in you Penny. I can't believe you're willing to give up on him."

Him? She's been searching for someone.

Oh MY GOD!

"DESMOND! SHE'S BEEN LOOKING FOR DESMOND!"

"Who?" Carla asks.

"The guy living in the hatch… but that's not important right now… I know how to rescue Charlie!"


	6. Chapter 6: Conversations and Friendship

Author's Note:

This is a Ben Chapter and it spans over two and a half months. You will learn about Ethan as well as Danielle. Oh there are many exciting events in this chapter. It will be an emotional rollercoaster. Just three more chapters left! (I am about to start working on the last chapter today. YAY!) Once I finish the last chapter, the final updates will start coming about every other day. I hope you enjoy. Thank you to everyone who has left feedback!

Love and Memories

Chapter 6

Ben's POV

Conversations and Friendship

What I love most about this situation is the irony. Charlie Pace, a ex rock star, a man who has had more women in one year then most men have in a life time, is talking to my teenage daughter about the evils of sex.

"And what no one tells you is that it hurts." He says so serious. Too seriously, she might catch on that he lying.

"Really?" Ok maybe not.

Charlie shakes his head as he plays the piano. Danny and I are standing outside of his house, listening to the conversation, peering through the window. I think this is the first time Danny's smiled since Colleen died. Then Charlie says, " yep, that's why people make those faces and moan. 'Cause it hurts so much." Danny stifles his laugher as he catches my eye. "That's why you should never have sex, and definitely not with a wanker like Carl." I think I might hug Charlie, if it wouldn't be so weird.

Alex says, "You know what, Charlie? You're are a lot easier to talk to then most adults. Creepy Ethan came close but not too much. I think you two would have gotten along… too bad he got eaten by that polar bear." Oh no. Danny and I make quick eye contact and head inside.

"Hi guys." Danny says hoping to defuse the situation.

"Um hi." Charlie's brows furrow still stuck on Alex's comment.

"Alex isn't there work for you to do? Shouldn't you be reading or working with the kids or something?" I try anything to get her out of here. She shrugs and heads out of the door.

Charlie stops playing when she leaves, I've notice he hates to stop in the middle of a song, he will always wait until the end.

I try to ease the mood; "I think its great you're talking to Alex about the dangers of sex."

"Really I just don't want her to have it with that tool Carl. Besides I've tainted my fair share of women, its high time I gave back to the community." Charlie says distracted. "Um you guys know Ethan wasn't eaten by a polar bear, right?"

Danny sighs and heads into his bedroom while I call Charlie over to the couches for a moment. "There's something we need to tell you. Everyone thinks Ethan was eaten by the bears because that's what we told them." I whisper as Danny comes out of the room holding a journal. He hands it over to me and starts to close all the windows and the front door that is normally left open for whenever Charlie comes over. "I made a grave mistake sending him to your beach." I hand Charlie the journal. "Before you look in it, I should warn you, it is pretty graphic."

His eyes widened to the point that I'm certain they are going to fall out of their sockets. Ethan's journal is incoherent psychotic ramblings about how no one understands him, until he met Claire. It contains repeated death threats against Charlie. Some pages are graphic illustrations; while a few pages are written in a deep brown color that I am almost certain is blood. Charlie throws the journal down on the coffee table completely and understandably horrified. "So he was crazy?"

"To say the least." I nod.

"Then why the bloody hell did you send him to us?"

"Well if I had known he was crazy at the time I wouldn't have done it!" I yell and recoil. "Look I am going to tell you what not even Danny knows. I picked Ethan and Goodwin because they were the people standing closest to me when I saw the plane crash."

"Christ, Ben really?" Danny slaps his head.

"Look I had like four seconds to make a choice. They all can't be winners." I rub my temples and sigh.

It's the terror in Charlie's voice that makes me look up, "Did he hurt her? Did he hurt my Claire?" He starts biting his fingernails and tapping his knee.

Danny sits on the coffee table, close to Charlie. Up until this point, neither man really paid attention to the other, they were polite and pleasant but either had an opinion or bond with the other. Which is what shocks me about Danny's reaction. "He kissed her Charlie." What? Really when?

"What!" Charlie's head nearly snaps off his neck, "When?" Good questions, that's exactly what I wanted to know.

Danny pinches the bridge of his nose, "We keep Claire pretty drugged up, most of the time she had no idea what was going on. Ethan was always hanging around her and I guess she felt safe around him because he was the only thing she could remember. I almost never left them alone, it was there I, Juliet, Alex or Tom with them at all times. Honest. I think Ethan took her out for a walk once, but they were being watched. Anyway, for a brief window of time they were alone in the examining room. When I walked in his was kissing her." My eyes flash over to Charlie who looks like some had torn out his stomach and heart and asked him to eat it. He starts rocking back and forth and his hands are tangled in his hair. His eyes are starting but unfocused. "Ethan stopped when I came into the room. Claire blinked and frowned as she said, 'oh, you're not Charlie.' Ethan was enraged and pushed to her. I caught her just before she hit the ground. I ushered back to her room asking her if she was ok. She nodded and said she missed you and wished she could see you again. I went back to the examination room to kick Ethan's ass when I saw he had destroyed the crash cart."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" I snapped at Danny.

"I don't know. You already hate Ethan, what was the point in telling you?"

"You're sure that's all he did? Because I have nightmares where he… he rapes her." Water starts to form in Charlie's eyes.

"Charlie I promise you… he didn't do anything else. We kept very very close watch of her. She was examined daily by Juliet. Nothing, Nothing else happened." Danny attempts to calm Charlie's nerves.

Charlie just nods and rocks back and forth for a few minutes. Finally he asks, "Is that why you let her go?"

I sigh, knowing if I tell him, he'll never come back, but at this moment he needs piece of mind more then anything else. "No, we screwed up. We had the wrong anesthesia to use for her c-section. It would have counteracted with the other drugs we had been giving her. It might have killed her. Alex had been reading Claire's chart from the beginning and caught the mistake. Instead of telling us…"

"No, she did, she told Ethan." Danny interrupts. Well, I guess that makes sense.

"Oh, well she set Claire free."

"Oh." Charlie said. Now starting at the journal on the table. "How did you find that?"

Danny smiles, "Well this part is sort of funny. We decided we were just going to leave Claire alone for a while and try again later. You know, in the daytime, when we wouldn't be a scary. Well two days after she left, Tom was returning some of 'adult entertainment' to Ethan that he had borrowed. But Ethan was gone, (which was weird because he was supposed to be here- no one was allowed to interact with us guys for at least thirty days). But Ethan's journal was on his bed. Apparently Tom thumbed through it and ran to tell us."

I pick up the rest of the story. "We figured he was going back to get Claire, as his final entry suggested. The rain had slowed us down, and when we got there, you had just shot him. We decided to lay low and stay in the underbrush until you and the others had left. After all, you guys were pissed off and armed. I decided to tell everyone that Ethan wouldn't be returning because he had encounter a Polar bear. No need to cause a panic."

I scrub my eyes for a second before looking at Charlie's very pale face. "After Claire left the island and you made that comment about getting hung from a tree, we went though Ethan's belongings. We found his first journal. Claire wasn't the only one he was obsessed with." I clear my throat as I think about her, "Charlie I didn't tell anyone you killed Ethan, because you saved me the trouble."

Charlie's still shaken up by the whole incident when Juliet knocks at the door. "Charlie I didn't know you were here, I missed your songs today." She pouts.

Danny helps Charlie up, "Charlie was just leaving, but I am going to walk him down to the path because we're involve in a pretty intense conversation about football. So you like the Dallas Cowboys?"

Charlie shakes his head, "No I like England."

Juliet looks confused as Charlie and Danny leave but she lingers. "Ben, are you alright, you look kind of pale, are you feeling sick?"

Sick is an understatement. I walk over to her and kiss her lightly on the cheek. I could have lost you, forever. Ethan's evil went undetected for so long, festering. He could have struck at any time. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know how Danny does it. Or Charlie for that matter. Those are the words I want to say to Juliet. Instead I walk out the door and say, "I feel fine, thanks for asking."

I never expect to see Charlie again. After all, now he knows what happened to Claire, why should he come back? He has nothing to gain. I've spent a lot of time at "the office", tending to the orders and supplies, doing things to make sure everything runs smoothly. I mill around, sneer when I see Carl and continue on with my day. I head home earlier, sort of depressed when I hear music. The piano. I find myself walking faster and when I finally get to Dan's house, I'm running.

Juliet, Tom and Dan are stilling around the coffee table talking to Charlie as he plays, "All You Need is Love." Charlie is laughing, "See, it's impossible to stay mad at a man with a puppy. He could tell you anything, but if he hands you a puppy you completely forget everything you were upset about, because you know you've got a puppy. I think world peace could be achieved if everyone had a puppy."

Juliet laughs, "I think you are over simplifying everything."

"Sometimes the simplest solution is the best." I chime in. "Charlie what are you doing here?"

He shrugs, "You've got a piano." The simplest answer. "Hey I hope you don't mind but I told Sayid about your crash cart. He said he would be willing to fix it for you guys. You know a gesture of good will. You could pick the location and bring the tools and the cart. He'll show up and take a look at it." All eyes look at me for an answer.

"Thanks Charlie, I'll look into how difficult it would be to do all that." I nod to him; grateful he's still hanging around.

A few weeks later there is a dizzy frenzy when Charlie shows up. Tom is nearly gitty and Alex begged me to let her be there when Charlie finds out. Danny normally leaves as soon as Charlie shows up and comes back home about an hour after Charlie's gets settled, but today he hangs around the house. Charlie walks in to the grinning room of men. I'm about to leave to get Alex when Tom burst out. "WE HAVE GOOD NEWS!"

Crap. "Tom wait, I need to get my daughter!"

"We'll do a reenactment for her later." Dan waves off.

Charlie is taken back and smirks, "what's going on?"

I've been suppressing my smile long enough. "Claire changed her name."

Charlie's forehead creases, "oh to what?"

"Well she had to go through some pretty shady means, because we forgot she didn't have any ID when she started her life over in LA. So it took us a while to figure it all out." Danny adds.

Tom is shaking with excitement. "STOP STALLING AND TELL HIM!"

"Damn, Tom, calm down." I place my hand on his shoulder. Then I turn my head to Charlie, "She's no longer Claire Maria Littleton, but Claire Maria Pace."

Charlie starts to glow, his smile is so wide, and it might fall off of his face. He slowly sits down, "Wow. This is huge."

Dan and Tom exchange glances and smiles.

Charlie seems overcome with emotions, "I mean she could have chosen any name and she picked mine." He clears his throat and laughs, "She could have been Tits McGee."

"Chesty Larue." Dan adds.

"Pussy Galore" Tom laughs,

"Betsy Big Boob." I add. They all stare at me and start to laugh. Our shared moment of bliss causes Alex and Juliet to come running in.

"YOU TOLD HIM!" Alex hits my arm.

Charlie comes to my aid, "It was Tom's fault. Dan's is going to do a one man reenactment for you."

Later on the day Doris comes over with cookies, Charlie says he is going to eat them later. Just before he leaves Charlie lingers for a moment, "Ben, thank you for tell me. I was getting worried she might be starting to forget. I am, sort of. Not the way she looks or how the light catches in her hair, but I've stopped checking for her in the tent and thinking its about time for Aaron's nap. You've given me hope." He runs his hand through his hair, "I stayed behind because I was scared. I have a lovely way of messing everything good in my life up. What if we left and she discovered I'm really not as great as she thinks I am on this island. What if we only work here, not in the real world? What if we start to fight, what if she stops loving me? What if I fell back into drugs? What if she hated me? I was scared and the idea of her hating me was too much for me to deal with. So I let her go and I stayed behind. We loved each so much I stayed behind to keep it that way." He turns away and heads down the path.

Juliet leans on the doorway, proud and smiling. God its good to see her smile. "Pay up bitch." She laughs at me.

Charlie comes by at least three times a week; I give him any information I can about Claire. This relationship stopped being about what the one can get from the other. No, now I tell him about Claire because I know it makes him happy. When he's happy, so is everyone else. Juliet and Alex have been pleased with me. Charlie's been a great help with Danny, and with Hurley and Sayid, they've been helping each other deal with the grief of loss.

It comes to that time of the month. Time for me to trek over to Danielle's side of the island and see if she's been taking her meds. I know she's not, but this is something I need to do, for me, Danielle and mostly for Alex. This time its different. This time I bring Charlie, so I have someone to talk to. And since Danielle seems to interact well with Sayid and Hurley, they come along too. We walk along the jungle. Its strange walking side by side with Sayid, but as Charlie points out, we all have something in common. All of us have beaten up Sawyer. Sadly we've all found it not nearly as rewarding as we thought it would be.

"Ben, why are we walking through the wood to see the Crazy French lady?" Charlie asks.

"Because she's Alex's mother. Because I need to check up on her. Because I need to get some exercise." I say.

"Um, dude, are you Alex's father?"

"No." We walk for a little while in silence.

Finally Charlie slaps his forehead, "Mate, we're looking for the follow-up here."

"Oh ok. First off Charlie why did you call Danielle the crazy French lady?'

"Um because she is." Hurley added.

"No, she's not French, she's from Ohio. Oh crap she's really regressing." I rub my temples, "she's schizophrenic. She was in the second wave of recruits, and three months pregnant when she came here. After Alex's birth, Danielle started to delusional. She killed three of our people and ran off into the jungle. We begged her to get help. When she refused, we had to take Alex away from her." I smile thinking about how tiny she was in my arms. "I had no interest in Alex when she was first born, I avoided her like the plague. But Danny and Tom had gone off to find Danielle for like the sixth time, they left me alone with Alex. I was terrified, what if she fell and I broke her, or what is she started to and I couldn't stop her? I tried passing her off on other people but no one would take her. Then the strangest thing happened, she yawn and fell asleep in my arms. In that moment, she was mine and I lost all control of my life."

Charlie grins at me, "I know exactly what you mean."

It takes another hour to find Danielle, she attempted to shoot us with an arrow and trap us in nets. She fails. Mostly because once she tricks you once, it's easy to learn from and you tend not to make the same mistakes twice. I attempt to reason with her, it never works. Finally Hurley is able to get her to take one pill because he takes one with her. Afterwards he tells me the meds we've been using isn't as effective as other meds. The problem is her pills already put a huge dent into our budget as it is. I really don't know what to do about it. I've spent years trying to get her to join back with the community, hell a part of me was hoping she would mingle back into Charlie's group, but she doesn't. She just mills around the outskirts and scares the hell out of everyone. Just before we leave she asks, "How's Alex? Is she walking and talking yet?" See that's the biggest problem… Danielle forgets how old Alex is; she has brief moments off clarity but its gone just as fast.

I nod, "Alex is doing great, she knows all her letters too."

Danielle smiles, "You're a good dad." Sure she says that now, next time she sees me, she very well might try to kill me with her bear hands. It's always a gamble with her.

We walk back to Charlie's camp, Hurley's telling Sayid about all the movies he just HAS to see. Poor Sayid just nods and agrees, occasional looking back for sympathy. When get back to the tents and fire pits of the beach, I cringe unable to fully understand how people live like this. Charlie explains there was a storm a few nights ago and most of the tents were destroyed, so he halted building the church to help rebuild the village.

Jin is cooking his catch on the fire. That Nikki girl is making some fruit salad. Rose is mixing some rice from the "kitchen" which was mostly the food for the Swan. Honestly it's looking sort of empty.

Sayid asks me to stay for dinner. They're offering ME their food. Me. I eat the fish feeling guiltier with every bite. Charlie and Locke offer to walk me back to the other island or I could even stay in one of the tents for the night.

More guilt.

I swallow, "Um, there's going to be another food drop in a few days, see we have the drops scattered on different schedules, it seemed to make more sense like that. I can take you there. It's going to one of the hatches we don't use as often as we used to."

Locke makes quick eye contact with Charlie, "But you have more people then we do, don't you guys need the food."

"We're doing alright. We have enough to last us a few more months and there will be at least two more drops before we run out." I shift from side to side.

Charlie rubs his neck, "Will there be sugar in the drop?"

"Um most likely."

Charlie grins, "Well then you need to bring some home of Deloris don't you?"

I laugh, "I guess I need to think about the mental and physical wellbeing of my people."

Charlie comes by at least three to four times a week. Its odd how things changed. He stopped being an outsider and turned into an ally, then a friend and now a part of the family. His trimuph are ours. His failures are ours. Slowly his music is changing, not as sad and gut wrenching but softer and sweeter.

It is a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. Charlie comes by to play the piano and to prep us on Sayid's arrival. He's supposed to fix the COM links for us.

He plays around the keys for a few moments and asks, "Hey Ben, can you check on Claire for me?" He normally doesn't ask, I'm the one who gives him the information but I've been slacking off lately. It's been nearly two weeks since I gave him a credit card statement.

Once I get down to the "office" and pull up the information from the Internet. I print out the statement and head back. When I get the half waypoint I read what she bought. Hmm, train tickets to New York, a week's stay at the Plaza, room service. Claire what are you doing? Oh my God!

I take the third page out of pile of papers and stuff it into my back pocket. My knowledge weighs me down and I walk slower to Danny's house. I stand at the door with my hand on the handle for a few seconds before entering. I'm good at lying to people who don't know me, but have no idea how it will go with Charlie. Crap, Juliet's sitting in the living room, listening to Charlie play.

Charlie hits the last note on the keys and looks up at me. "So, did she buy anymore towels?"

I smile (fake) and hand him the papers. "Yeah, you would think there is a towel shortage somewhere, the way she buys them." Charlie laughs and takes the papers. Suddenly I feel the need to stare at the floor as I take the seat next to Juliet. I start twisting my fingers up around each other, a nervous habit I devolved as a child. Apparently it caught Juliet's attention because she places her hand over mine. Her eyes ask me if everything is ok. But I say nothing.

"Hey Ben, where's page three?" Charlie asks from the piano bench.

"Um, it must not have printed out." I say, twisting my fingers together tighter.

"Really? It printed out pages one, two, and four, but skipped page three? Whatever she bought was expensive because there is nearly five thousand dollars unaccounted for on the final page." Charlie cocks his head to the side.

"Maybe I dropped it." God I feel sick.

"Or maybe you're stalling." Charlie eyes me up.

I swallow my fears, "Charlie, this might not be what it looks like. Please keep that in mind." I hand him the folded piece of paper.

His face falls, his eyes widen, the paper rattles in his hand. His voice is like razors on ice, "Ben what else could the possible mean besides what I think it might?"

"I don't know."

"A white bustier from Victoria's Secret! A light blue dress! Room Service at the Plaza? She's bloody cheating on me Ben!"

Juliet speaks up, "maybe she just wanted to feel like a woman, you know, feel pretty and sexual. Lots of women need to do that after they have babies."

"Really Juliet, do you dress up in saucy knickers just to feel pretty?" Charlie snaps at her. Hmmm it is an interesting question maybe some other time I'll get an answer. Charlie stands up and starts pacing back and forth mulling over the implications of this paper. "She took my name so she wouldn't feel bloody guilty as she starts shagging some other guy." He pushes his hair out of his face, "What the hell was I expecting? Her to wait for me? I'm stuck on this horrible little island, no chance of ever leaving."

"Charlie," Juliet tries to soothe him but it isn't working.

"Three months, she was with me for three months, its only fitting she waited three months before she starting screwing around." He screams unintelligently for a moment, "I gave her everything, and all she gave me was three months." He punches the air, he flails around but nothing seems to help.

I stand up; he eyes me over but remains where he is. I sigh, "Come on Charlie, I'll walk you home."

We walk in silence, after all the man has lost everything; there are no words of peace I can give him. He walks a few steps ahead of me, his shoulders shaking every so often. He's crying. Hell, at least he has a reason to cry, Jack cries every ten-minutes because he has a paper cut.

We arrive at his camp and he heads right to his tent and into bed. I catch Sayid's eye and quickly inform him of the situation. He looks just as devastated as Charlie does. He nod and thanks me for walking Charlie back and for keeping him informed. I tell him not to brother coming by tomorrow to fix the communicators, and I ask him to watch over Charlie.

I walk back alone. Once again the gnawing feeling of guilt is tearing me apart. I blame myself for this situation. After all it was my idea for Claire to leave. By default it is my fault.

When I get come, Alex is sobbing on the couch and Juliet is doing her best to calm my daughter.

"Honey, sometimes love just isn't enough. Sometimes people just change." Juliet rubs Alex's back while a very old guilt start to twist inside of me.

Alex sniffles and coughs, "But I don't understand, its love supposed to be the strongest force on the planet? Its it what people live and die for?"

Juliet looks up at me for help. My daughter's romantic views of the world seem to be shattering all around her. When Juliet and I broke up, she turned to Charlie and Claire to be her role models for a relationship, for maturity, for love. The idea that Claire would cheat on Charlie is cracking the foundation of her belief system.

Alex looks up at me with teary eyes, "Daddy isn't there anything you can do?"

See now I'm in trouble, she called me 'Daddy' something she hasn't called me in years. And she's crying which naturally makes me weak. Add to that, the way Juliet's looking at me, sad, hurt and clinging on to the last shred of hope. The words fly out of my mouth before I can think, "maybe I can get Charlie a boat out of here."

Alex's eyes grow wide, she smiles through her tears as she leaps off the couch and into my arms, "Oh really Daddy you would do that?"

"It's going to take a few weeks, but maybe I can pull a few strings." A few budget cuts too, I guess I won't be updating the Pearl hatch any time soon. But seeing Alex and Juliet smile at me is worth it. "We'll let Charlie lick his wounds for a day or two. We're not going to say anything thing until I know for sure we can get him off the island."

"Do you think Charlie and Claire will get back together?" She asks with her arms around me, her eyelash catching the last of her tears.

I nod down to her, "you know, sometimes love is enough."

Once Alex calms down of moves on to her chores of feeding Infinity. Juliet approaches me in the kitchen. She stands before me, calculating her next action. Then she leans in and kisses me on the cheek. "I'm very proud of you, Benny. Very Proud of you."

Tonight is the first time in nearly a year she's called me 'Benny' and it's the first time I really believe love can really fix everything.


	7. Chapter 7:Love and memories

Author's note: First off I am want say how sorry I am that it took so long to update and even more so how short the chapter is. I wanted to do a quick update with his chapter and the next one. I'm in the process of writing the final chapter but stupid life is getting in the day. This is the final Claire Chapter.

Chapter 7

Love and Memories

Claire POV

I refuse to fly, sorry, its not happening, not with the what happened the last time I flew a commercial. Besides flying with Aaron would be a nightmare. Oh and I don't have a real id either so I could get arrested at the airport. So it looks like the only way I can get New York is by train. I have only a small window to make it across United States and reach Penny Wedmore before she returns to the United Kingdom.

A three-day train ride is the best I can do. Aaron and I pull into Penn Station, wow and I thought LA was crazy. Ok deep breathe; you're a woman in a mission. I head out to Madison Square Garden and catch a cab to the Plaza. Ok that was the only hotel I've heard of and I know it's in a nice area, and it not like Charlie's hurting for money or anything.

I'm grinning so much, my face hurts. Charlie. It's been two and a half months, I don't know how much longer it will be, but hopefully not too much longer.

Aaron and I head up to our room, I shower and dry my hair, clean and feed him. I try to make him look as presentable as possible. He's been great during the traveling; I think a lot of it has to do with my mood. Hopful. Happy. Thrilled. Excited. Certain.

I hope Aaron back into his stroller and head to the Hanso building; truthfully at this point I am flying by the seat of my pants. Who am I kidding, my plan to save Charlie is to find Penny and hope she will help me? Yeah that's never going to work.

New York City has like millions of people in it, how the hell am I going to find one? I mean what are the odds? She might not even been in her office, she might be away. She might not even take my call. She might think I am loon. Too many factors I didn't think of. Damn I was so confident a few days ago, but now that I'm in the crowds, the smells, buildings, I'm not sure if I can do this.

Seriously how am I going to find Penny?

Of course, that could be her getting out of the limo and walking into the Hanso building. Ok Claire keep it cool.

Penny is flanked by who appears to be her assistant and maybe a bodyguard.

All my hopes and prayers rest on the next thirty seconds, maybe I should have rehearsed this. "Excuse Ms. Wedmore?" She stops at stares at me. Waiting for some explanation, "Um, I think you and I have a mutual friend."

"Oh really?"

Her bodyguard starts to approach me, "Ms. Wedmore is a very busy women."

I call over to Penny, "he's a funny sort of fellow, Scottish, and calls everyone 'brother or sister'." The bodyguard grabs my arm to usher me away, but Penny stops him, her eyes are filled curiosity. I call out to her, "He used to say the only thing you need in this life is someone who loves you."

Penny's jaw drops slightly as her eyes start to tear up, but her voice remains steady, "Who are you?'

I pause for a second unsure of the right way to answer the question, "I was born Claire Littleton. Then I boarded Oceanic 815, on paper I died. Now I go by Claire Marie Pace."

Her brow furrows, "Pace?" She clearly recognizes the name.

"Please, Ms. Wedmore, I know where Desmond is, he's with Charlie." My eyes never waver from hers.

She turns to her servants, "Amber, clear all my calls for the rest of the day." She looks at me and growls slightly, "I swear to God Almighty if you are just wasting my time I will crush your soul and your child's."

We walk into her tower of marble and glass. No one speaks, making for an awkward lift ride. Penelope dismisses her employees once we approach her office. She points to a chair cross from her desk. I don't think I've ever been in an office quite like this before, its like the kind you see in the movies, rows of books, long red curtains, and I pretty sure her desk is made from a tree that is a least three thousand years old.

"Take a seat Claire." She stares at me. "You seem to know a lot about me, about the people I care about, I find this alarming and unsettling. Mostly I do not understand if you claim to be on flight 815 then how the bloody hell did you get here?"

"Well it is quite a long story."

"Fortunately for you I cleared my schedule for the day. However you will have to work hard to prove yourself. I obviously will be doubting every word you say."

I shift in my seat, growing more nervous with each passing second, I start to play with my engagement ring, Penelope's eyes glance down at my hand, her eyes rises slightly on her forehead but says nothing. I sigh and start from the beginning. I repeat everything I told Carla, but this time I add information about Desmond, the Others, Ethan and mostly about Charlie. I watch her reaction, or lack there of, as I speak. I end the story with me walking up to her on the street. It takes nearly five hours to tell the whole thing, I didn't even stop when Aaron woke up and demanded a bottle. I hope she appreciated that sort of dedication.

When I finish she sits quietly, her index fingers touching together and tapping her lips in unison. "I had my doubts, but it was the imaginary peanut butter and the porn stash that sold me." She finally breaks her mask of ice and smiles at me. She opens her drawer and slides me a black journal. "This is Charlie's, I took it just after the crash, he hid it under his bed, I'm sure if you had it, you wouldn't have had as many hours of darkness and doubt. So he stayed clean? Even after you were kidnapped by the "Others" he didn't fall back into his old habits?" She seems proud at him.

"Well, I'm sure some of that has to do with the fact he didn't know there was any on the island." I shrug.

She laughs, "I guess. Still its good to know he finally found what he was looking for. For years I tried to get him to quit, I sent him into rehab when I found out he was living on the street, but he couldn't do it. He didn't feel HE was worth it. He needed more, someone to live for, and I guess that is you."

I blush for a second. "I really miss him."

She nods, "I'm sure you do."

"Um, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course." She grins.

"How do you know Charlie? I mean obviously you two have known each other for a while now."

"I'm Charlie Pace's mother's best friend. Megan told me about her affair, it was one night of weakness and she fell into the arms of her former lover. When she learned she was pregnant there as no doubt in her mind that the child was Marcus Mittlewerk's. When she finally told Duncan Pace he was devastated, he was ready to leave her, but he just couldn't do that to Liam. When the baby was born he adopted him as his own and named him Charlie. However, that is not what the birth certificate says according to the birth certificate his name is Joseph Mittlewerk and it made Charlie the heir to a fortune. Shortly after Charlie was born, Marcus was tragically killed in a car accident, whether it was Duncan acting out his own revenge or Marcus' own father, I don't know, the end is still the same. So Duncan, Megan and I kept the secret. I would pop in and out of Charlie's life, keeping an eye on him from a distance, it wasn't until his mother passed away and he learned the truth did we become close."

"Um were you and Charlie …lovers?" I feel sick asking the question.

She laughs, "dear god no, he's like a little brother to me, the shear thought of him having sex makes me ill." She catches herself, "Um, I'm sure you two are great together." She looks shyly at the desk before asking, "Did Desmond ever talk about me?"

"Yes." I smile.

"You've been separated from your love for only three months, give or take a few weeks, I've been separated for nearly six years." She claps her hands together, "Let's bring our boys home."

I can't help it, I know it doesn't look cool, but I really can't help it, I start to cry. I laugh and cry at the same time, feeling foolish and blissful.

"Claire, do you think you can hold out for another two weeks? Because I think that's how long it should take." TWO WEEKS? That's it! In two weeks I will be in Charlie's arms, holding him, hugging him, ripping his bloody clothes off. I nod almost violently.

"Do you know the exact location of the island?" Penny asks.

I shake my head no, losing my newly gained home.

"Not to worry, we still have another option. Did you happen to remember to get Aaron's birth certificate filled out?"

"Oh blood Hell!" I smack my forehead, "No I didn't."

She grins like the devil, "perfect," she purrs. She fills me in on her plan, I agree completely. She moves on to a new topic, "Now I going to go shopping for some very naughty knickers, would you like to come with me?

"Sure." I know exactly which I'm going to buy.

We head out of Penny's office together, when she stops at Amber's desk, "We're going out shopping." She wiggles her eyebrows and Amber beams understanding completely the reason why.

"You've found him?"

Penny grins, "Oh and please connect the Families Searching for Survivors, and tell them we've got one hell of a lead."

"Who's that?" I ask.

Penny grin grows wider, "Claire, you really didn't think you were the ONLY one looking for them, did you?"


	8. Chapter 8:Bitter goodbyes

Author's Note:

Ok I finished Love and Memories yesterday. So you will get an update every day. So by Tuesday you'll have the whole story! YAY! This is a BEN chapter.

This takes place right after the last Ben chapter and it will explain Charlie's history.

Thanks to anyone who has been reading and reviewing.

Chapter: 8 Bitter Goodbyes

BEN POV

I wake up to the smell of pancakes. Yesterday I told Alex I would do everything in my power to get Charlie off the island, see you do one nice thing and your daughter makes pancakes. I get dressed and brush my teeth before heading into the kitchen. Alex smiles a syrupy smile with her cheeks puffed out filled with her sweet breakfast. Juliet is standing in my kitchen, with an apron, pouring more batter for another batch. Well this is very unexpected.

As I've gotten older I found the little things life to be important, the tiny moments of bliss is what makes life worth living. This is one of those moments. My family is together again. Peaceful, quiet and happy. I'm smiling so much my face starts to hurt. Juliet says nothing but put a plate of food in front of me. I thank her and we eat in a comfortable silence.

I am about half way through my second helping when Danny storms in through the front door. "Ben the phone's ringing."

"So take a message."

Danny repeats with haste in his voice, "the phone is ringing." My legs work on autopilot as I stand and hurry out of the house.

The phone never rings. We have two ways of contacting the outside work. One is relatively new and that's this thing called the "internet". The other way is via the phone. I am the only person who can call out. But no one ever calls us. Whatever is happening has to be huge. In a very bad way.

Damn pancakes, they're slowing me down. My stomach cramps for a few minutes while I run to the office.

"What do you think THEY want?" Danny asks as we head into the main building.

"I don't know." Now I can hear the constant ringing of the phone. It hurts my ears with its loud and obnoxious sound. I push open the door and see Tom pacing back and forth staring at the phone, waiting for me.

"It stopped for a few minutes and started back up again." Tom says as I pick up the handle.

"Hello?" I'm completely out of breath and panting into the phone.

"Linus is that you?" I'm not sure whom I'm talking too but he seems to know me.

"Yes this is Benjamin Linus, is there a problem?"

The voice on the other end of the phone laughs, "Yes I would say there is huge problem. Apparently nearly six months ago a plane crashed on your little island and you have made no attempt to rescue those people."

"Well, sir…"

"This is no time for excuses, listen, an retired cruise ship will be at the water drop point in twelve hours. Give them the Elizabeth and make sure they arrive safely."

What? How does this guy know the name of Desmond's boat? I'm about to ask the question when the voice continues to speak. "Listen the following people MUST be on the ship, get a pen and paper." I do as instructed and I start to write the names he dictates to me. "Ben, your people can leave as well. Anyone who wants to can leave, any of the survivors of the plane crash who stay behind MUST be interrogated into you community."

I really don't like any of this, "What if I refuse?"

"I swear to God I am not screwing around here!" He screams, "If those people are not on the cruise ship in twelve hours, all of your funding from the Hanso Corporation will be cut. That means no more food or medical drops. You're people will be dead in three months." Suddenly a dial tone fills my ear. I hold my hand to my head for a few seconds as I let everything sink in.

"Ben, what is it?" Tom asks.

"Um, we have to get the people on this list and anyone else who wants to leave on a cruise ship in twelve hours or our funding with be cut."

"Anyone? Like us too?" Danny bites his nails.

"Apparently."

"Are they bluffing?"

"Is it worth the risk?" I spit back, and then I look back at the list in my hand. I stare at the first name and slowly like water filling a dam anger fills my body. "SON OF A BITCH!" I scream. "He played us from the beginning!"

I give Tom instructions to tell our people the news and I tell Danny to get the ship ready and that Sun and Jin could sail it if no one else knew how. When they ask me where I'm going I absently-minded mutter something about delivering the good news.

By the time I get to the beach, I'm so enraged all I can do to keep myself together is focus on my mission. My feet touch the sand, I become I laser beam sighted on my target. I am vaguely aware that Hurley says hello to me. I change my gate from a brisk walk to a sprint when I see Charlie. For a brief instant he sees smiles and me. That prick has the nerve to smile at me. I tackle him with all my force. He hit the ground with a thud.

"Ben, what are you doing?" He gasps out. Yeah like he doesn't know. I start punching him.

"So what is it, I destroyed your family, so your doing the same?" My fists make one more impact before arms yank me off of him. It could be Sayid and Jack. But I feel a barrel of a gun to my head.

Charlie looks confused, hurt and upset all at once as he his eyes burn into mine. Then he looks slightly above me. "Sawyer don't!"

"Charlie he just beat the hell out of you for no reason." The southern twang bellows in my ears.

Desmond helps Charlie to his feet and quickly asks, "Are you ok, brother?"

He nods and wipes the blood off of his mouth, "Ben, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

I scoff, "What the hell do you care, you're leaving this island. All of you." I scream. "Pack you stuff and get off my island. A boat will be here in an hour and half, everyone who wants to, get on the boat now, it's your only chance to leave."

Kate's voice calls out, "Did Michael finally rescue us?"

I growl, "No, Claire!"

Sawyer pulls the gun off my head, "Really? Claire? Isn't she, you know, stupid?"

Charlie yells at Sawyer but it doesn't mean the southern man isn't right. I don't know how she did it. After this minor distraction, I go back to my attack, my mission. "You lied to me, Charlie." That's my problem, he lied to me. He was supposed to me friend. He was my first friend in years. The son of a bitch lied to me and used me.

He shakes his head, "No, I didn't."

"Tell the god damn truth for one, why the hell did you stay back? Was it to get sympathy? Was it your desperate need to be liked? Are you that pathetic you would sacrifice Claire so you could get attention?"

He stares at me, his eyes fiery blaze, "You prat, how dare you!" He screams, "If I had left on the boat with Claire, they would have killed you." He waves his hands in the air.

"Really? I'm supposed to believe that a drug addict is that selfless." I spit venom at him. I feel the arms that have been holding me back loosen for a moment. I push off of them and turn away from Charlie.

Sayid is in my face, his voice steady and even, "Charlie's right, we would have assumed you killed Charlie, Claire and you would have taken Aaron for your own reasons. We would have found our way back to your island and massacred you and your people."

Jake glares at me, "He saved your life." Great he has his lackies lying for him too.

"Well he's the reason you're finally getting your wish." I growl.

Charlie's voice starts out quiet but slowly gets louder, "Get Alex and Juliet and come with us. There's no reason for you to stay. You could come with us."

"With you animals? Never. Now get the hell off my island." I push pass everyone, I never look back. I never want to see that man again.

By the time I got home many members of my family have packed up and are ready to leave. I slam my front door and once again I come home to a sobbing Alex. I hold her to calm her, to soothe her. Her whole has changed in the matter of minutes. She weeps because she is confused. She weeps because she's scared. Mostly she weeps because she has to say goodbye to her family.

Danny knocks at the door, he tells me he's leaving, there's nothing left for him here. Fine go. Imagine making a life decision, packing up and saying goodbye in the matter of an hour. I want nothing to do with any of the people who are leaving. I don't need them, I don't need Danny.

I don't watch any of them leave. I just slam my bedroom door and feeling like a fool. I liked Charlie. He was my friend. But he played me. He used me. My bitterness is now my only company.

It's been nearly a month since I got the phone call that took my friends away. My bitterness hasn't softened. I've kept myself busy with little nip picky things I haven't gotten around to in a few years. I am knee deep in paperwork when Tom knocks on the door.

He takes the seat across from me, but I don't look up at him until he speaks. "So Ben you wanna hear a story?"

"Not really but your going to tell me anyway."

"Once upon a time…" He starts off.

"So this is going to be a long story huh?" I lean back in my chair, clearly annoyed at the interruption.

He ignores me, "There was once a girl named Megan who was born into an upper class family in London. She lived in a fairytale life complete with her prince Marcus the son of a businessman. All was well until their young loved faded and real life started to become a factor. Marcus' father wanted him to grow up and become a businessman. Megan was left behind while Marcus headed towards his bright future of womanizing and world travel. Megan, broken hearted left the fast paced world of London and moved to the quieter comfort of Manchester where she met a young man named Duncan. He was gruff but kind, and the complete opposite of her former love. The wooing process was slow, sweet and real. After two years Megan went to her family and told them she was in love and getting married. Her family disapproved and refused to acknowledge her and disowned her. She lost her inheritance and her bank account. But she gained a husband and shortly after a son. Their lives were simple, happy and content until Duncan lost his job. That's when they started to fight about money.

"Her only confident was her best friend from her former life Penelope. Penelope had stayed beside Megan when her family abandoned her. In fact Penelope had found many similarities between Megan's lives hers. Megan started to miss the life she left behind and contacted her former love. Her affair was brief but intense. There would have been no evidence of the affair had she not missed her period."

'This is a pretty graphic, where did you get your information?" I ask.

"I'm getting to that, but it wasn't easy. Anyway can I get back to the story? Great. When Marcus finds out about the pregnancy he wants her to runaway with him and start a new life in America. But Megan wasn't about to leave neither her son nor her husband. She declined his offer. Now it is unclear wither she told her husband right away about affair. But when the child was born he was named Joseph Mittlewerk.

"Why do I know that name?"

"You shouldn't, Joseph Mittlewerk was adopted by Duncan and was raised as his son and never told about his scandalous conception or about the small fortune he was owed. After this biological father passed away, others might call it murder, Marcus' father, Thomas absorbed his sons account and even went as far as to sent up a trust fund for his grandson. But never made any attempts to be involved with his grandson's life. In fact the only person who was involved in the child's life and knew of his past was Megan's dear friend and Joseph God Mother, Penelope.

"Joseph knew almost nothing about his life until his mother told him the truth on her deathbed. Once Joseph discovered about a small portion of the money he was owned, he collected it and bought a house in California, after all it seemed appropriate because that was where his mother and biological father were going to run off. He was in Sydney when he learned his grandfather had passed away, therefore making him a solo heir to a fortune. His life was about to turn around when he boarded Oceanic flight 815."

"Wait a Joseph Mittlewerk wasn't on the plane."

"Yes he was. See before he was adopted, Duncan insisted the child's name be changed."

"To what?"

"Charles Pace." Tom whispered.

"How do you know all this?" I ask, seemingly unfazed by the information.

"I spent all my time focused on Claire, I didn't keep my eye on Aaron."

"What?"

"According to Aaron Littleton-Pace's birth certificate his father is a Joseph Mittlewerk and therefore he is the new heir to fortune."

"Did she have an affair on Thomas?"

"No she lied on certificate, it was the only way to get Charlie off the island."

"How does making Aaron Charlie's child get him off the island."

Tom wiggled his finger in my face. "Because the company Joseph and Charlie own stock in was the Hanso Cooperation. When Thomas Mittlewerk died, all his shares went to Joseph. But his shares alone weren't enough. No, there was another character in that little story that played equal importance. Ms Penelope Wedmore."

"Wedmore?"

"She had always been sympatric to Megan's plight since she too had fallen in love with a man of a lower class then she. However Penelope's father did not disown her, instead he tried to pay the man off. The young man refused the money and instead tried to sail around the world in order to gain Mr. Wedmore's respect. However four years ago his boat crashed on an island and he spent his time entering a code into a computer in one of the hatches."

My eyes grow wide, "Desmond?"

"Now Mr. Wedmore died and left all his money to his daughter Penny as well as his seat on the board of directors. She owns 25 of the Hanso Corporation. She was also the person who kept Joseph's Mittlewerk's identity a secret. Between his father's, grandfather's, his own and Charlie's stock, Joseph Mittlewerk owns 35 of the company. Together Penny and Joseph control 60 of the Hanso Corporation and all the companies and projects owned by the parent company. Charlie and Penny control one of the most powerful companies in the world."

I sit back in my chair and let the information soak in. "Wait, I don't get it, if Charlie is Joseph Mittlewerk and he knew when he got onto the plane that he was the heir to a fortune why didn't he get off the island with Claire when he had the chance? Couldn't he just send a rescue boat like Claire did?"

Tom sighs and leans back in his chair now. "See I thought about that too. The only reason I could come up with was Charlie never lied to us. He had to return to the beach because if he didn't Jack, Sayid, Sawyer and even Locke might have come here and killed you." He points to me for a dramatic effect I guess. "You are our leader and therefore you are the only person who can operate the phone. If you died, no one would have been able to answer the phone and therefore be able to rescue the other survivors."

I rub my temples, trying to soothe the growing headache and the feeling that I've made a horrible mistake. "So Charlie sacrificed three months of his life away from Claire in order to save his friends' lives and mine too."

"I think towards the end he concerned you to be one of his friends." Tom whispers.

Great, just great, I tried to kill the one person who is in charge of our budget. He hates me now. I've single handedly killed my people. Fantastic. Oh and I just cost myself a friend.

My head lobs back on the chair as I spin around watching the room twist and turn until I get dizzy.

Then the phone rings.

I stop.

Tom looks at me.

I look at him, "did you plan that?"

"No but it won't it be cool if I did?" Tom smirks.

I pick up the phone and I hear a very familiar voice.


	9. Chapter 9:tying lose end

Author's Note: This is the very last major chapter, tomorrow the epilogue will be posted. The bit with Charlie and Spongebob is based off of me. EVERY freaking time I see Spongebob, I see the same damn episode. There are a few tiny Season 3 spoilers in this chapter but it doesn't play a huge role the story, but just a few fun touches for a fan.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you to anyone who has been reading this story. You completely rock.

Love and Memories

Chapter 9

Charlie's POV

Tying Up the Lose Ends

Un-bloody- believable, I've been trapped on an island for six months, turn on the telly and find the only damn episode of Spongebob I've ever seen. Why would Spongebob allow the jellyfish into his home? I don't know what's worse, the fact that this show isn't as good when you're sober or that it took three people to write it.

Still its nice to be on a bed, watching a telly, and knowing in a few hours I will see Claire. My head still hurts from Ben's attack, I should have been more preparing for it, and after all I knew it was coming. I feel awful leaving it the way I did between us. Hopefully I'll be able to set things right.

There's a knock at me door and Sayid, Hurley, Locke and Desmond enter. They look around my cabin making comments that theirs is similar. I glance over at them, then back to the telly.

"Is that the one when the jelly fish take over Spongebob's house?" Hurley asks.

"Yeah." I mutter

"That's the only one I've ever seen, maybe there is only one episode to this show."

"That's what I was just thinking!"

Locke shrugs, "I don't know, the show just isn't as good if you're not stoned."

I cock my eyebrow at him if only to savory the irony of the situation that Locke used to get stoned. He clears his throat and announces the reason why everyone is in my room. "So how are you doing Charlie? That encounter with Ben was pretty intense. Do you know why he was so mad at you?"

I shrug and turn off the TV. "He thinks I knew we were going to leave the island."

"Did you?" Sayid asks.

I flash a quick smile at him but say nothing.

"Did you mean it?" Hurley questions, "did you mean what you said to Ben about why you stayed behind?"

"I never once lied to him about the reasons why I stayed behind, I wasn't going to leave my friends, I didn't finish the church, I was afraid I would mess up my life with Claire and mostly because if I didn't come back to the beach, the Others would have been killed."

Desmond doesn't say anything but he watches me intently. I shift uncomfortably under his eyes.

Hurley slaps me on the shoulder, "We just wanted you to know that we'll help you find Claire. I'm sure there is still time to save your relationship."

Desmond clears his throat, "That won't be necessary, will it, Joseph?"

He knows! He knows everything,

Hurley pulls his arm away from me, "Who's Joseph?"

Desmond points to me and my stomach flips, "He is, go on tell them."

I snap as my darkest secret is spilled so everyone can see, "You bloody bastard, how dare you sell me out."

Locke finches, "I don't understand, you're not Charlie Pace? But I saw you play. I'm a fan of your music."

I ignore Locke and launch towards Desmond, "I defended you! When Penny was about to marry that prat Evan, I screamed at her. I yelled and swore her out of my life. How dear she give up on you? Just because you were in jail didn't mean you weren't coming back for her. I had your back and you sell me out now? You air my dirty laundry out for everyone to see. You bastard. How long have you known?" I ask.

"That you knew Penny? About three weeks ago, when Hurley told me you were in DriveSHAFT. Penny used to talk about her favorite band because she was a friend with the bassist. I used to tease her, because he was so young. Also She used to talk about her godson, Joseph, how she was worried about him because he refused to seek the drug treatment he needed. She was worried he was headed down a path he might never return from."

Yeah, I know, and my guilt crushed me for years. I say nothing, finding it hard to look at anyone.

I clear my throat; "I didn't even tell Claire until we were engaged. Why should I tell anyone else?"

"I just thought your friends might like to learn the real reason they left the island." He says softly.

"When did you figure out I was Joseph?"

"About three hours ago." He smirks.

"And you couldn't keep you mouth shut?" I snap and roll my eyes before sitting back down on the bed.

There is silence in the room.

"Charlie, how are you the reason we left the island?" Sayid asks quietly.

I like that he still calls me Charlie. "Well, if I had to make my bet, I think it has more to do with Desmond and I then just me. Penny Wedmore is on the board of directors to the Hanso Corporation, she just happens to be the love of Desmond's life and has been searching for him. Penny's my godmother. With her shares of the company and mine we own over well 50 of the corporation."

"Well who are you?" Locke asks.

"I honestly don't know. I just know my mother shagged some rich guy and now I'm the heir to a whole lot of money."

So I wait for the judgment to pass; for my relationship with my friends to change, for the angry cries and the yells of betrayals. Hurley becomes quiet as he thinks about the new information he's learned.

"Dude, you're like a millionaire?"

"Um I think it's more like a billionaire." I correct him

"Hmm and you gave me crap about winning the lottery when your story was three times more unbelievable?"

I shrug. "Sorry about that."

"But you're the reason why we got off the island, right?" He squints his eyes at me.

"Yeah."

His arms swallow me, and I struggled to breathe as I get the most intense Hurley Hug ever. He yells in my ear, "Dude, I don't care if your Hitler's grandson, we're going home and it's because of you."

I feel the grin on my face before I fully comprehend why I'm happy. Hurley lets go of his grip, plays it cool and goes back to his spot in the cabin.

I glance around the men in the room. "So are we cool?"

Desmond's face softens, "is that what you were afraid of, that you would lose all your friends if they found out the truth?"

I stick my hands in my pocket and kick at the floor. I nod and feel like I'm in grade school.

John laughs at me, "you have some serious issues."

"Yeah like anyone here was room to talk when it comes to their issues." I laugh and the tension in the room is gone.

Desmond smiles, "Hey, Charlie, I'm having a small problem with something and I was hoping you could clear up some confusion." He winks at me. So, he knows what is going to happen when we get onto the dock. I guess he knows that I know too.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Who's Hugo?"

"Hurley, mate, you didn't know that?" I smile.

"Hmm, well that explains the small Hispanic woman yelling his name." He smirks as his eyes dance over Hurley's confused expression.

"Well was that all you had?" I try to pry out more information from him.

"Gee, I figured out how Nadia is, I mean she was easy." Desmond scrubs at his beard for a moment as he looks at Sayid's unreadable face just before he continues, "Oh, who has the cute little girl in pigtails named after the fruit."

I laugh, "Think about the last person you would want to see pass his genes down to another generation."

"Bloody Hell, Sawyer?" His eyes grow wide in horror.

"I've been struggling with who that Helen bird, who's she hanging around for?" I shrug, but from the expression on Locke's face, I think I just learned my answer.

Hurley scratches the back of his head, 'Dude, can you see the future too?"  
I turn my eyes to the telly, "I'm not sure but I guess we'll find out in a few hours now won't we? If I'm wrong, does it really matter? I mean you're still off the island and one step closer to seeing your family. If I'm right. Well, maybe you guys should take another shower."

No one speaks for a moment and then instantly my room in empty. Hmm maybe I should take another shower too.

The cruise ship can't dock near the island so we're taking a smaller boat the rest of the journey. After five showers and finally getting all the salt off my skin, feels like a wasted effort, now that the boat speeds over the surf and spraying ocean water over me. The boat slows down and I hear Sawyer mutter, "Gee an island, a beach and sand… I haven't seen that in a while."

"Yeah, but it's the resort on the beach that new to the eyes." Jack added.

The resort we can see from far away but once the prepares to dock, that's when I see her. Standing on where the beach and dock meet. All light is attracted to her. She glows. I can see her smile from here. "CLAIRE!" I yell and jump off the boat and not so gracefully land on the dock. I sprint to her, my muscles burning. My smile is hurting my face.

She bits her lower lip for a moment before yelling, "Charlie!" She doesn't move to me, encumbered by Aaron. God is that Aaron? He's so big.

Is this the longest dock ever made or what? This is getting ridiculous, am I still running? What is taking so long? You know if she took one or two steps towards me this whole process would go a whole lot faster.

Finally I scoop her in my arms. I am whole once again. I'm ashamed to admit I've forgotten how good she feels against my body. I whisper her name over and over again. I just need to hold her now, I need to know she's real; a kiss would be far too much of a dream right now.

She whispers, "I've missed you so much."

"Me too."

Aaron starts to squirms a little, trying to get some attention himself. "Hullo, Turnip Head, have you been a good boy for your mum?" I pick him up and I'm completely unprepared for how heavy he is. "Whoa, you've gotten so big! And you look smashing in your clothes, it's a vast changed of pace from running around naked like you used to."

"It took some time for him to get used to idea of clothes." She smiles proudly down at her son. "Aaron, sweetly, you remember your Da, right?"

I honestly don't expect him to remember me. I mean why would he? I though baby's have the memory span of like three minutes. But he looks at he for a moment, then back at Claire. His eyes get wide and he shakes his head for a moment, smiles and laughs. His hands reach out for me. His giggle turn to cries, as he is overcome with emotions. I laugh through my tears, "I know how you feel, kiddo." I hold him close to my chest; Claire starts to rub his back. The three off us form cocoon of support for each other. After being apart for three months, its really amazing how quickly we all far back into place.

"Charlie you could have waited until they stopped the boat." Locke laughs at me, as he approaches Claire and kisses her lightly on the cheek. "You look great, Claire." Wonderful, he's kissed her and complemented her, two things I haven't done yet. Now I feel terrible like a very neglectful boyfriend.

"You really do." I whisper in her ear, brushing my lips lightly against her cheek. She quivers slightly in my arms, and shoots me a look with her bedroom eyes. I don't think I've ever wanted anyone as much as I want her right now. Where the hell is the closest bed?

More people approach us, hindering my ability to tear off her, oh god that little blue dress I've dreamed of so many many times.

"Well Mama, you're a sight for sore eyes." Sawyer smiles at Claire.

"Thank you Sawyer." Claire smiles politely at him.

"Charlie has been a wreck since you've been gone Claire." Kate says with her arm tightly around Sawyer's waist.

Claire blushes and tenderly puts her hand on my face. "I know how he felt."

Ok I'm not going to be able to hold out too much longer.

Sayid, always reserved, approaches us. "Hurley says he's not getting out of the boat until we're all off the dock and he's holding Desmond up. So we need to move."

Once we're all off the dock then Hurley steps off the boat. And a Desmond shaped blur races passed to the top of the beach and screams for Penny. She approaches from behind him. I don't think I've ever seen Penny this happy in my life. She says his name. He turns to grab her in his arms; they kiss and disappeared into the resort.

I really hope we're on opposite sides of the hotel, because I really don't want to hear Penny and Desmond shagging. It's just far too yucky.

Hurley, in a rare moment of seriousness touches Claire on the arm, "If you ever need anything, please just let me know. I'm indebted to you for life."

She smiles. "Honey, all I want is for you to take Aaron for a few hours so I can shag Charlie's brains out, then we can all it even."

YES! YES! YES!!!!!

Hurley's eyes grow wide as he pulls Aaron out of my arms. Claire hands a baby bag over to Sayid and leads me to the top of the sand dune where the hotel is. About half way there she calls down instructions, "Look follow the signs to the pool, there will be a man there, just give him your name and he'll give you a room key. There's food and drinks at the pool and I'm sure some of you will enjoy the company. Charlie and I will join you in a few hours. Bye!" She starts pulling me harder.

A small girl with her hair in pigtails comes out of the space between the beach and the pool. She looks at me and Claire then looks at the people on the beach heading her way. She runs back into the space she came from, "MOM! THEY'RE HERE!"

A woman with dark hair runs after the little girl, "Clementine, you come back here right now."

The child pulls on her mother's shirt, "Which one is my daddy?"

From my vantage point, I see Sawyer's face fall from the smile he has when he's with Kate to some uncertain look. From the look of it, he's accepting the responsibility he spent years avoiding. The woman gave Sawyer a small wave; he nods at her and loses his grip on Kate and walks to his family.

A very tall redhead comes out from the opening to inspect the commotion. Her mouth drops as she calls, "NADIA! GET OUT HERE!"

A stunning Middle Eastern woman joins her, "What is it Helen?" Together the women scan the crowd on the beach. Their male counterparts; Sayid and Locke screamed their names and reunions they waited years for finally occurs.

Claire whispers in my ear, "Um, do you want to watch this?"

"I believe someone made mention of shagging my brains out." I smile at her.

"Oh thank god, because this whole reunion thing could take a while."

The next hour is filled with frenzy and passion. Claire's dress that she spent a fortune on is torn to shreds on the floor of our room. We catch our breathes between tender kisses. Now that the inferno has burnt down to a soft flame. I roll onto my elbows, resting my head in my right hand, while my left hand draws little circles around her belly button. She pushes her hair out of her face and bits her lower lips. "Hi." She whispers.

"Hi, yourself." I smile down at her and laugh, "So what took so bloody long?"

She grins embarrassed and covers her face with the pillow, "it took me two and a half months to figure out Penny was a nickname for Penelope."

"Oh you're kidding right?" I groan.

"Well it also took me a few weeks to find your porn stash."

"Really? That wasn't the first thing you did when you got into my apartment? Search for my porn? It would have been the first thing I would have done." I tickle her side. Her laughter is the most amazing sound I've ever heard.

She lifts the pillow off of her face, her skin pink from blushing and laughing. She's radiant. "I love you so much, Claire."

She leans up and kisses me, "I love you too, Charlie, er, um Joseph." She furrows her eyebrows and rests her head back on the pillow, "I don't know what to call you."

My heart sinks and breaks as I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. "I don't know what you should call me either." Reality sucker punches me. A whole new set of problems had just arrived. Well not new problems, there were just things that worried me in an abstract sort of way, but now they're real and they've formed into problems. "I guess we have a lot to talk about. I mean, what if we only worked in life and death situations. There's just so much that could go wrong. God, you could do so much better then me."

She rolls over and touches my cheek with her fingers, "Are you worried you're going to fall back into drugs?"

I close my eyes and admit, "Petrified." In the darkness behind my lids, I admit, "What if I just ruin your life? Aaron's life? Maybe your better off without me?"

Her lips touches mine, "Charlie, you're the only one I want to be with. Charlie, Joseph, whatever your name is, all I want is you. I've been so lost without you and everywhere I turn, there were people who loved you and willing help me in order to help you. I have no idea why you think so little of yourself that you would even consider for a moment to fall back into the drugs. I won't let it happen. Charlie you're the only family I have."

I ask her about her mum, she breaks down and starts sobbing that her mother is better off without her. She signed her death certificate and took the money Oceanic offered her and bought a new house. Tend to my lovers tears, kissing them away and telling her everything will be all right. We make love for the second time, loving, soft and healing all the old wounds.

We're us again.

After my sixth shower of the day, I get dressed in the clothes Claire brought from my flat in LA. We discuss the logically aspects of my fears and vow not to discuss a wedding until we've been living off the island for six months. But I promise to buy her Harry Winston engagement ring; she refuses, until I bring up a picture of one from the Internet. (Thankful she brought my laptop with her.) Once she saw a picture she quickly changed her mind.

We walk out of the room, hand in hand to go get our son; apparently she lied on the birth certificate and said I was the father. I'm perfectly fine with that.

I see a couple pinned up against their hotel room door, but their hands are far too busy with other things to worry about little things like a doorknob.

Claire smiles and rests her head on my shoulder shyly. I clear my throat, "You two need a little help with that door?"

Kate gasps from lips of some other guy. KATE! But I thought she was with Sawyer? Kate in a raspy voice "thanks Charlie." I unlock her door and the man grunts his thanks. Kate lights up, "By the way, there's a guy sitting by the pool bar, he says he knows you."

"Oh, thanks, have fun in there." I called back to her. Claire slaps my arm and rolls her eyes while I ask, "So who was that guy?"

"Her husband." She grins evilly with gossip.

"Wow how scandalous." I laugh and wrap my arm around Claire's waist while we start to see our friends, our family for the past six months. Hurley, Jin and Sun are fawning over Aaron. Jin introduces me to his father and his father-in-law, apparently this is the first time the four of them have been together ever and with the expect arrival of Sun and Jin's baby, it makes the experience even more meaningful.

Hurley introduces me to his mother as his best friend. I rant and rave to his mother about what a great guy her son is and she should be very proud of him.

I pat him on the back and look over at the bar.

My stomach drops down to my feet. I freeze, hoping if don't move, maybe I'll become invisible. Claire must have seen this, because she grabs my arm, "Charlie, I had to call him. I don't have anyone, but you still have family. He's been worried sick. Please, please don't be mad at me."

I glance at her, the only women I've ever loved, her eyes watering; teardrops are caught in her eyelashes like morning dew on a spider web. I kiss her lightly and I tell her I'm not mad at her, But it doesn't mean I'm not mad.

Hurley stands in front of Claire. "Dude, I've got your back, you give me like thirty seconds and I'll get Sayid and Locke here. You just give us a sign if you need us. Do you want to come up with a sign?"

I shake my head and slowly walk over the bar. I know the back of my brother's head and I stare at it for a few seconds trying to come up with something clever to say. "You know, I kinda of hate you."

He spins around on the stool. "Yeah but you kinda love me too." My brother. He looks tired, like life has been harder then he expected. He stands up and waits for me to make the next move.

"Rumor has it, I'm a billionaire." I say.

"Yeah but I've still got better hair." He grins. I've spent years hating him. But seeing him now, in front of me, it all disappears. After all, in the past 6 months, I've survived a plane crash, I was kidnapped, hung from a tree, kicked heroin, chased by a polar bear, fallen in love and watched my son being born. Some how my tiff with my brother seems a little petty.

"I missed you, little brother." He says.

"You, not so much." I laugh.

He sits down at the bar and offers me a beer. I scratch my neck, "Um I'm not sure what the rules are with a former drug addict and drinking alcohol, I guess I'll just have apple juice."

Liam stares at me, considering, "She's the one Charlie, you know that right?"

"Yeah."

Liam shakes his head, "No, she's the reason why you quite the heroin. She's what makes your life worthwhile. I'm just really glad you found her. I sort of wish it could have been in a less dramatic way, like Internet dating or something."

The bartender hands me my juice. I take a sip thinking about my next statement. "Aaron had a lot to do with it too."

Liam smiles, "kids really changed you huh?"

"Yeah."

"You get it now don't you, why I couldn't go back on tour with you."

I drink about half of my juice before answering, "I didn't, at the time, but now I do."

He nods his head for a minute. Sayid takes the stool next to me and orders water. "Claire spent a king's ransom trying to Nadia for me. I've spent years of my life searching for her. I was speechless when I saw her today. Seriously if you ever need anything, let me know."

I nod at him. Soon Hurley and Locke come over and sit next to Sayid. No one speaks but we all turn our heads when he hear, "Clementine don't run near the pool." Sawyer sighs and rubs his head as he next to Liam.

"Charlie is this dad thing worth it?"

"Good enough to stop chasing the greatest high in the world." I say.

Liam smiles, "I used while having sex with two or three girls at once. Now parenting isn't really the same thing but its still pretty cool." Then he slaps himself in the head and looks at me with grave concern, "Since you really didn't go through proper drug treatment and went cold turkey, you might start to get itchy for it. When you do, tell Claire first. Then call me, wherever you are, I'll fly there to help you. I wasn't there for you in the past, but I now that you've come back from the dead, I've got your back."

Sayid puts his hand on my shoulder, "After you call Liam, you will call me."

"Dude, me too."

Locke smirks, "forget this, we'll start a phone tree."

"Oh like that movie with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman?" Hurley asks.

Sawyer sighs, "I saw that movie, and I watched the whole damn thing, hoping for some lesbian action."

Liam and I catch eyes and start to laugh, we had the same reaction, just as I'm about to say that. Locke slams his hand down on the bar. "I thought the same damn thing."

It comes to time for Penny to break the news. Joseph Mittlewerk's net worth is nearly 300 million dollars as well as a seat on the Hanso Corporation. If I stopped being Charlie Pace and starting to become Joseph, money would never be an issue. Aaron and Claire would be set for life. Liam and his child would be set as well. Hell if I really wanted to I could pay for Sawyer's kid and Jin and Sun's kid. Hell I could pay for like all the children in the world to go to college, But Penny tells me, if I choose to be Joseph, I can't ever pursue a music career again. See as Joseph, I would keep a VERY low profile, living in exclusive places and staying out of the public eye. Therefore a career performing music would be out of the question.

This breaks my heart. I try to explain to everyone that music was the only thing I am good at.

But the choice is pretty obvious when I see all the different projects the Hanso Corporation is into, and a lot of it is pretty shady. Someone needs to step in and stop it. Looks like it has to be me.

I only make one request. Between Jack's knowledge of medicine and Hurley's background in the crazy house, I'm set up pretty nice. Everything else is easy to buy; well anything is really possible if you have enough money.

It takes one month to set everything up. One month to make the phone call. But it's totally worth it. Claire sits on my lap, just as excited for as I am. She glanced down to her new engagement ring and kisses me. She is still wearing the DriftSHAFT ring around her neck and she calls me Charlie instead of Joseph, because that's whom she fell in love with.

"Are you ready, Love?" I ask her.

She bites her lip as I start dial. The phone rings. It rings again.

Someone picks up.

"Ben?"


	10. Chapter 10:epilgue

Author's Note: Well this is it. The complete end of the story. I'll be honest with anyone whose been reading; in the beginning of the story I loved it, but by the end I hated it. _Love and Memories_ really served a different purpose then just a C/C fic. As many might know, I am in the process of turning the fan fic I wrote over the summer into a novel. This was the longest writing project I've ever stuck with. Anyway by November I was getting a little sick of the characters and I stopped feeling productive in the process. So I e-mailed Meagan (She's been reading all the new chapters) and told her my problem and that I had this idea floating around in my head for a fan fic. It was her who suggested I write it. Love and Memories provided me with the much-needed break away from my novel and now I am very excited to return to my characters.

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed over the past month.

Love and Memories

Epilogue

Ben's POV

Then the phone rings.

I stop.

Tom looks at me.

I look at him, "did you plan that?"

"No but it won't it be cool if I did?" Tom smirks.

I pick up the phone and I hear a very familiar voice. "Ben?"

"Charlie?"

"Are you still pissed?" My jaw drops, he's still worried about that? Charlie continues, "I just wanted you to know, I never lied to you about why I stayed behind."

I scrub my head, "Charlie, or should I say Joseph, I really don't think matters."

He's silent for a moment, "Oh, you know." He sounds disappointed.

"Yes." Ok I'm not going to tell him I found out five minutes ago.

"Oh." I hear him talking to someone, a woman.

"Is Claire there?" I ask.

He seems to clear up, "she's here."

"You two are doing well?" I hate small talk but if I don't ask the question I'm sure there will be many people very mad at me.

Then Claire's voice comes into my ear, "Charlie says we aren't allowed to even talk about wedding plans until we've been together for at least six months. But he says if I call my mom and try to start back up our relationship, we can start planning sooner. I'm this close to calling her." Does she realize I can't see her fingers?

"Baby, he can't see your fingers." Charlie whispers.

I can't believe SHE'S the one who rescued everyone. I start to rub my temples.

"Charlie is there a point to this phone call?"

His voice becomes cold. "Well I'll just get to the point here. There has been some restructuring at the Hanso Corporation and there will be some adjustments to your budget."

I slam my fist against the desk, "You're cutting my budget!"

There's some giggles on the other end of the phone, pissing me off even more.

Claire voice is light and airy, "That's not what he said."

"There will be a couple changes to your island. One, the supply drops every three weeks instead of six. Two, there will an internship designed from the top three university in the world which will be sending the top young minds to farther their understanding the biology and psychology in a contained ecosystem." Charlie says very professionally.

Claire pipes in, "This way Alex won't be stuck dating a complete tool like Carl. You know while he was in Fiji he was staring at my breast the whole time. Creepy little monkey."

"What?" I ask.

"Oh there will be a doctor in the first wave who is an expert on schizophrenia who is going to try to treat Danielle. Sorry he's what was took so long." Charlie says.

"I don't understand? Why are you doing this?"

There is a silence over the phone line and finally Claire speaks. "I am eternally grateful to you. You saved my life Ben; you were the one who made it possible for Aaron and I to leave the island. But mostly you were Charlie's friend when he needed on the most. So anything we can to make your life a little easier along the way, then we should do it."

I'm speechless.

Charlie speaks for me "Oh and by the way, if you had told me that you were trying to cure a horrible life threatening disease when I was on the island, I would have gotten you the equipment sooner. Now you're going to have to wait a month. Just call if you need anything else. You've got a friend on the board of the Hanso Corporation."

I've got a friend. God I'm such a loser, but I feel like I'm going to cry. Charlie says one last thing.

"Look you are going to need to get to drop site for the Pearl today. You're getting your first package. But you'll need to soon, I really don't want to bears to get it. This should solve all your problems. This is the best I can do for you Ben. By the way in about a year from now you might need to take s small trip off your island for a wedding. You don't mind do you? I'll talk to you later, bye Ben." Charlie hangs up the phone and leaves me with knowledge and the first glimmer of hope in a long time.

I hang up the phone and explain to Tom we need to get to the Pearl and I would explain what happened on the way.

When we get to the Pearl, the drop box has already arrived. It was two boxes. One box was opened and tons of small brown pellets little the ground. The second box is wrapped in a highly protective layer. There is a small brown fuzzy animal in the box.

"He sent you a dead animal?" Tom asks.

I pick up the animal and it wakes up slowly, blinking a few times and yawning, its tongue curling the whole time. I stare at the animal, "You can't stay mad at a guy who gives you a puppy." I look at his tag, his name is Charlie.

I play with the sleepy puppy during the long walk back, telling him about all the rules he's going to have to follow.

I stand outside of my house and I lift Charlie up and stare him in the eyes. "Listen, we've got one chance to get this right. Don't screw it up for me." Charlie blinks a few times and licks me on the nose.

I open my front door and let Charlie scamper through the house. "ALEX! There's something in the living room for you."

Alex comes out of her bedroom and bellows, "A PUPPY!" She scoops Charlie into her arms.

I feel an arm around my shoulder. "How did you get a puppy?" Juliet asks me.

"It's a long story, but it comes down to friendship, love and memories." I tell her as I kiss her on the lips as we watch our daughter play with her new puppy. "Have I told you how happy I am you didn't leave on the ship?"

"Sometimes in life, you need to love someone enough to stay behind." She kisses me back.


End file.
